Author’s note: This is my sixth and final article in a series dealing with pastoral burnout. Recent Barna research revealed that 33% of ministers had given serious thought to quitting. My own research for a graduate studies project showed 63% of those surveyed had given or were giving serious thought to quitting the ministry. Previous articles provide an overview to challenges ministers face and how key regular rhythms of renewal like silence and solitude, community and abiding prayer help create resiliency.
I like running, but I hate running on a treadmill. My favorite kind of run is on a dirt path through a wooded area. Makes me feel like a kid again. But the absolute worst kind of run is on a treadmill. It just feels like I am not getting anywhere. Sure, the screen tells me how far I’ve run, but I haven’t really gone anywhere. Ministry can feel like that.
It can feel like you are running really hard but not getting anywhere.
In my research on pastoral burnout, one of the challenges many ministers talked about was the lack of clear, identifiable successes. I could relate to their experiences as I too have struggled in ministry to know if what I was doing was actually doing any good.
In one ministry, I took a side job as a bus driver to make a little extra income for my young family. That job became so rewarding because I had a clear way to identify that I was succeeding: getting the kids to school safely and on time. If only, I would bemoan, there was something like that in ministry.
“One of the challenges many ministers talked about was the lack of clear, identifiable successes.”
Jesus did give us a few ways to know we are “succeeding” in kingdom work, but they are not very quantifiable. They are things like abiding in Him (John 15), making disciples (Matthew 28:19-10), and loving God and neighbor (Matthew 22:37-40). As I explored this facet of ministry, the practice of reflection surfaced as a valuable way to see how God is working in the midst of all the ministry activity.
I have noticed at times how I am prone to always be rushing to the next thing, the next sermon, the next appointment, the next season, and do not easily slow down enough to see how God has been at work in the previous season. A lack of reflection has led me to a fuzzy notion at times that something has been happening, but if pressed I wouldn’t be confident how God was working.
It’s been said (usually attributed to John Dewey) that we do not learn from experience…we learn from reflecting on experience. It can be so easy to miss what God is up to in our lives if we do not practice a rhythm of reflection.
David wrote in Psalm 139:23-24 (ESV),
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
It was a prayer for reflection.
“Search me, God, and know my heart; put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts.”
In Mark 1:15 (ESV) Jesus said, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand.” The Greek word for time used there is kairos. It is distinct from the more typical word for time, chronos, which signifies measurable and chronological time like the ticking of a clock. Kairos refers to opportune moments or meaningful time when something significant happens.
Nouwen helps us see that reflection can help us identify the kairos events in our own life.
“In chronological time, what happens to us is a series of disconnected incidents and accidents that we seek to manage or subdue to feel in control of our lives. Time becomes a burden unless we convert it into God’s time. God’s time (kairos) has to do with opportunity and fullness of meaning, moments that are ripe for their intended purpose. Whatever happens—good things or bad, pleasant or problematic—we ask, ‘What might God be doing here?’ We see the events of the day as continuing occasions to change the heart.”[1]
Intentional times of reflection helps us pause to notice the God moments in our life. We are better able to notice how God is working in us and through us. Nouwen refers to this as finding “God’s treasure amid the paradoxes and sorrow.”[2] Reflection is about looking back so we can move forward.
“Reflection is about looking back so we can move forward.”
A couple of years ago I discovered the Examen, developed by Ignatius of Loyola (1491–1556), the founder of the Society of Jesus (Jesuits). It’s a simple prayer of reflection on your day to help you become more aware of God’s presence.
Here is a simplified version:
- Review: Think back through your day, noticing high AND low points. Ask God what He wants you to pay attention to.
- Rejoice: Thank and praise God for high points and anything that can prompt gratitude.
- Repent: Ask, “Where in my day did I not live in alignment with God and sin?” Ask Him for forgiveness.
- Renew: Receive God’s forgiveness and renew a commitment to love God, love others, and live for Him the next day.
It’s important to understand that “the essence of the examen is not external change but internal transformation. It is not another avenue of self-scrutiny but rather an opening to divine awareness.”[3] When practiced in a spirit of openness and curiosity, it can be life changing. I know it has been for me.
Two apps I have found that are helpful to guide this process are:
- Lectio365 – A popular app created by the 24-7 Prayer organization. Each day is different content with a similar framework as outlined above.
- Examen – Based on the work of Mark Thebodeaux, this app has several thematic examens that are helpful when you are looking to reflect around a specific theme.
“The Examen is a simple prayer of reflection on your day to help you become more aware of God’s presence.”
Another practice that has proved helpful and can be paired with the examen is journaling. I have a love/hate relationship with journaling, and it has been hit or miss in my life. There’s no denying, though, the power of writing even a few reflective sentences about your day. It can simply be one thing you are grateful for. It could be writing a response to questions such as, “Where did I see God at work?” or “Where did I experience God’s love?” I prefer a pen and a nice journal, but a digital journal works too.
One word in closing. Beyond intentionality, reflection is only as beneficial as we are honest with ourselves. Don’t be okay with a spiritual bypass where you use spiritual practices to avoid dealing with what is actually going on. Be honest with God. Be honest with yourself. Where you are is the only place God can meet you.
[1] Henri J. M. Nouwen, Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life, 1st ed (Erscheinungsort nicht ermittelbar: HarperCollins Publishers, 2013), 85.
[2] Nouwen, 102.
[3] Larry Warner, Journey with Jesus: Discovering the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius (Downers Grove, Ill.: IVP Books, 2010), 28.
