*Author’s note: This is my third article dealing with pastoral burnout. Recent Barna research revealed that 33% of ministers had given serious thought to quitting.[1] My own research for a graduate studies project showed 63% of those surveyed had given or were giving serious thought to quitting the ministry. In the first article, I wrote about some top challenges ministers face and how key regular rhythms of renewal can create resiliency. In the second article, I dug deeper to fundamental issues we must gain clarity on to thrive long term. Beginning with this article, I expand upon critical practices and rhythms that help ministers create resiliency.
I served for a season as a director for a ministry to the homeless. Our team did a lot. Our facility housed an overnight shelter, day shelter, kitchen, food pantry, and chapel. There was a lot going on, and being interrupted was the norm. There was constant need and continual noise. The joke became that the most uttered phrase from people was, “Where’s Doug?” It was challenging to endure at times, and I did only by the grace of God and the support of an amazing team. It was through that experience that I was reminded of how precious silence and solitude are.
We live in a noisy world. There’s the noise of people’s speakers in the car next to you at the stop light, the noise of loud trucks and motorcycles (especially in Missouri where a man is defined by the decibel level of his muffler), and a torrent of words everywhere! Much of that cannot be avoided altogether, but even when things get quiet, there is often a different kind of noise. It’s the noise we experience in our soul. It’s the noise that builds up from the pressures of ministry and the expectations of others. It’s the noise that builds up from regret of past decisions and uncertainty about the future. It’s the noise that builds up from living a frantic life running from one thing to the next.
“There is often a different kind of noise. It’s the noise we experience in our soul.”
In my research on pastoral burnout, no other spiritual practice was mentioned as being as necessary and yet neglected as silence and solitude. It may be especially true for those who do a lot of talking that intentionally being silent and experiencing solitude has power to break the hold that our egos, pleasing personalities, and performance mindsets have on us.
In Mark 6:30-32, Jesus’ disciples return from a successful ministry trip, and many people are flocking to them. Jesus’ response is instructive. He takes His disciples away to a solitary place. He established a rhythm of retreating regularly during His ministry. He did not avoid the crowds altogether, but He always made space to retreat and be alone with the Father, often bringing some of His disciples along. Luke in his chronology of Jesus’ life simply stated it this way: “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places [desert/wilderness] and prayed” (Luke 5:16, NIV).
By doing this, Jesus practiced two things at once. He sought the Father while He resisted the crowds. By withdrawing, He resisted the pull of people’s agendas and their praise. John recorded these words of Jesus: “I do not accept glory from human beings” (John 5:41, NIV). Later in John 6, we are told how Jesus resisted them: “When Jesus realized that they were about to come and take Him by force to make Him king, He withdrew again to the mountain by Himself” (John 6:15, NRSV). I don’t know if there are two more important things for building resiliency in ministers than to seek intimacy with the Father while resisting the pull of the crowds.
“By withdrawing, Jesus resisted the pull of people’s agendas and their praise.”
Here are three indispensable ways God works to restore us through silence and solitude.
1. In silence and solitude, God gets our attention.
Pete Scazerro, in his experience as a pastor and helping pastors develop an emotionally healthy life, says that “in the desert—that solitary, undistracted place—we position ourselves to open the door of our hearts as best we can so that Jesus’ presence and his will have full access to every area of our life.”[2]
Silence and solitude help us see God and hear from God more clearly. I remember a time I was hiking in a remote area seeking time alone with God. I was ranting (I mean praying) about a difficult situation in my life, and suddenly, I felt compelled to stop and listen. It was then that I felt the slightest breeze and felt an impression from God saying, “I got this, so you don’t have to carry this. Let me have it.” After that, I was able to settle my heart and enjoy time with God.
In silence and solitude, God is really trying to help us “let go of all of our attempts to fix whatever needs fixing out there, to leave whatever hope we had of leading people somewhere, and to believe that what needs to be done in the deep interior places of our life is the most important work to be done right now.”[3]
2. In silence and solitude, God directs our attention.
In solitude and silence, without the normal distractions, God can direct our attention to the things that we need to address in our life. I have noticed in my own times of solitude that I cannot avoid the thoughts and feelings that I otherwise ignore by distracting myself. Bonhoeffer was right when he wrote, “We are so afraid of silence that we chase ourselves from one event to the next in order not to have to spend a moment alone with ourselves, in order not to have to look at ourselves in the mirror.”[4]
“In solitude and silence, without the normal distractions, God can direct our attention to the things that we need to address in our life.”
3. In silence and solitude, we can experience God’s love deeply.
In silence, we can just be with God without expectation of doing anything. Silence is that place where all other agendas are put to the side and “one can let oneself be loved and affirmed at the deepest level.”[5] In solitude, our identity is grounded in God alone. “In solitude we become aware that our worth is not the same as our usefulness.”[6]
Based on the sheer volume of church fathers and mothers and spiritual formation authors writing about the power of solitude and silence, I will go as far as to say that, while our spiritual disciplines may vary, silence and solitude must happen. We shouldn’t think of silence and solitude as a band aid though. It by no means is a quick fix or formula for growing closer to God or avoiding burnout.
Sometimes I have sought solitude and walked away wondering if anything happened. Other times, I experienced God in deeply transformative ways. I believe the key is to incorporate regular rhythms of silence and solitude. It’s the consistency that builds in us the capacity to have this quiet center where we can hear Jesus regardless of what is happening around us. I am not claiming to have fully arrived at this but have experienced in part what writers through the ages have described as a “portable cell we can carry with us wherever we go.”[7]
“While our spiritual disciplines may vary, silence and solitude must happen.”
For ministers in the daily fray of people’s expectations, busyness, and the emotional toll that wears on us, silence and solitude can become an oasis to recenter ourselves on Jesus and His priorities. It’s a place where we can create space for God to fill our souls and for us to release the burdens that we have been carrying. In silence and solitude, we can recapture our ability to pay attention to God’s presence and tune our ears to hear the voice of our Good Shepherd.
Here are a few suggestions for incorporating silence and solitude into your life, keeping in mind it isn’t so much about place as it is about space.[8]
- Find a local park, trail or nature preserve where you can escape during your day. Even twenty minutes of experiencing silence in nature can be refreshing.
- Schedule a few times in your day where you pause and are silent and still. One minister who leads in a hectic environment has a practice of sneaking away to an empty room a couple times a day to sit still for a few minutes and give his attention to God in prayer and silence.
- Squeeze silence into your commute. It will initially feel like you are living in another era, but don’t be afraid to get radical by driving in silence.
- Plan a half day once a month or full day once a quarter to be alone. I travel a decent amount, so I look for state parks where I can “getaway to” even when I am on the road.
- Plan an annual one- or two-night getaway to some place where you can experience solitude. I have utilized monasteries, campgrounds, ministries that offer space for this, and church camps. I’ve noticed over the years that I need at least two nights. It seems it takes me the first 12 to 24 hours before I am able to let my soul settle and begin to really listen to God.
“Plan a half day once a month or full day once a quarter to be alone.”
[1] “New Data Shows Hopeful Increases in Pastors’ Confidence & Satisfaction,” Barna Group, accessed June 26, 2024, https://www.barna.com/research/hopeful-increases-pastors/.
[2] Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and the World (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2015), 134.
[3] R. Ruth Barton, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry (Downers Grove, Ill: IVP Books, 2008), 40.
[4] Dietrich Bonhoeffer and David McI Gracie, Meditating on the Word, 2nd ed (Cambridge, Mass: Cowley Publications, 2000), 50.
[5] Donald R. Hands and Wayne L. Fehr, Spiritual Wholeness for Clergy: A New Psychology of Intimacy with God, Self, and Others (Washington, DC: Alban Institute, 1993), 63.
[6] Lance Witt, Replenish: Leading from a Healthy Soul (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Books, 2011), 138.
[7] Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Way of the Heart: The Spirituality of the Desert Fathers and Mothers (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2009), 22.
[8] Witt, Replenish, 138.
