I was asked to write this article well over a year ago. There are several reasons as to why it took me so long, and some of them are legitimate. However, I think one of the main reasons that I procrastinated is that even though I have been married for almost 20 years, I often feel like I could be a better wife to my husband.
I knew that scouring verses that are applicable to marriage might be more than a little convicting, and I was right. However, even though God’s Word can cut us deeply, it’s also so full of hope. I’m thankful for verses that point me in the direction that I should go in all my relationships, including my marriage. But even more than that, these verses reminded me what a unique and incredible blessing it is to have a godly spouse and marriage. I’m so thankful for my wonderful husband and these (almost) 20 years we’ve had together, serving the Lord.
“I’m thankful for verses that point me in the direction that I should go in all my relationships, including my marriage.”
I hope that these Bible verses will be an encouragement to you in your marriage as they are to me.
1. Genesis 2:18, 21-24
“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him… So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
From the very beginning, God intended for marriage to be a blessing. These verses describe a Creator God investing in and taking care of his created children. The Lord saw that Adam was alone and wanted to give him a helper and companion. From Adam’s own body, the Lord created a wife suited just for him. Together, as husband and wife, they were united in marriage, just as we are today.
2. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
1 Corinthians 13 is often referred to as the “Love Chapter” and with good reason. The apostle Paul’s poetic descriptions are a vivid picture of what love should really look like. While these verses describe what our dealings should look like with all people, we can forget that this is also how we should approach our marriages. It can be really easy to take our spouses for granted. How many times have I done this very thing! Instead, let’s allow Paul’s words to remind us how to truly love our spouses and others.
“The Apostle Paul’s poetic descriptions are a vivid picture of what love should really look like.”
3. Mark 10:6-9
“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
In this chapter of the Gospel of Mark, Jesus is answering a question proposed by the Pharisees as a trap. They ask him if it’s lawful for a man to divorce his wife. Jesus answers them by reminding them of the creation account—that God created man and woman, and that God intended for them to be united in marriage. God’s plan for marriage was that it would be long-lasting and an “until death do us part” covenant. This is because when we are united in marriage, we become “one flesh.” In marriage, we’re connected physically, emotionally, and spiritually with our spouse. God has created this sacred union and he does not want to see it broken.
“God’s plan for marriage was that it would be long-lasting and an ‘until death do us part’ covenant.”
4. Ephesians 5:22-24
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
In our current culture, these verses can be hard for some of us to read and implement. Many of us have grown up thinking women should be independent, self-sufficient, and beholden to no one, especially not a man. How often do we see it celebrated when a woman submits to her husband as the head of the family? Even in Christian circles, I would venture to say not very often.
The thing is, Scripture clearly states that the husband is the head of the household. This means, wives, that we are not. It doesn’t mean that we are inferior or less than, but it does mean that we are called to godly submission. If I’m being completely transparent, this was difficult for me to put into practice, especially in my younger years. However, as I get older, I realize more and more what a blessing it is that I’m not the head of the household!
5. Proverbs 18:22
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
In this verse, Solomon describes a wife as “what is good” and the man who finds a wife as one who “receives favor from the Lord.” Time and time again, we see that God intended marriage to be a blessing. This seems like a no-brainer, especially for those of us who were blessed with godly spouses. However, as I meditate on this verse I can’t help but wonder what an impact it would have on my marriage if I really took the time to thank God for the favor I have received from him in the incredible blessing of my husband.
“Time and time again, we see that God intended marriage to be a blessing.”
6. 1 Peter 4:8
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
Here, Peter isn’t specifically referencing marriage, but encouraging the believers in how to live for Christ in general. However, when I read this, I can’t help but think it is an excellent verse to turn to regarding marriage. Listen, it’s easy to get caught up in the mundane routines and stresses of life and to forget how to cherish our spouses. However, if we remember to love and forgive our spouses as much as we are expecting to be loved and forgiven ourselves, it can make for a wonderful marriage. When you choose to love someone even when they’ve wronged you, when you choose love over resentment, holding a grudge, or bitterness, that is the kind of love Peter is talking about here. And if Peter tells us to treat others in this way, then we most certainly should treat our spouses in the same manner.
“If we remember to love and forgive our spouses as much as we are expecting to be loved and forgiven ourselves, it can make for a wonderful marriage.”
7. Proverbs 31:10-31
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”
This verse penned by Solomon is the introduction to one of the most well-known chapters in the book of Proverbs. Two thirds of this chapter is dedicated to describing what I would call the “ideal wife.” Interestingly, I’ve seen women bristle at some of the descriptions in this chapter. I wonder if it’s because at first glance, these verses can make us feel intimidated and inadequate. However, the purpose of these verses is not to make modern wives feel like we don’t measure up. I believe they were meant to be an encouragement to women, to give us the freedom to be unique and talented and to give us something for which to aspire.
A wife of noble character is industrious, thrifty, hard-working, wise with investments, caring, thoughtful, great at managing her household, creative, generous with the poor, loved by her family, and more! These verses encourage us to use our God-given talents, whatever they may be, to bless our families.
8. Ephesians 5:25-30
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.”
These verses simply, yet clearly describe what it looks like for a husband to love his wife. He should love her like he does his own self and he should love her like Jesus loved the church. Many of us tend to be naturally self-centered, putting our own needs before others. The “me first” mentality is even encouraged and applauded in our culture. We’re constantly being told to elevate ourselves over others, but Paul is saying something different: husbands should use Jesus’ love for the church as their example.
“We’re constantly being told to elevate ourselves over others, but Paul is saying something different.”
9. Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Paul is speaking to the Ephesian believers and instructing them on how to live as Christ-followers in these verses. It’s not a complicated verse, and I believe it excellently sums up what a God-honoring marriage should look like as well. We should be kind, compassionate, and forgiving.
It sounds easy, right? But what about when you’re tired? Sick? Stressed? Are we as kind and compassionate when life gets hard? How quick are we to forgive? It may sound simple, but it doesn’t always feel simple. However, we have to remember that because we have been forgiven in Christ (praise God!), we can also forgive.
“We have to remember that because we have been forgiven in Christ (praise God!), we can also forgive.”
10. Song of Solomon 8:6b-7
“For love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”
These lyrical verses by the Shulamite woman passionately describe what love looks like. It is strong, burning, unable to be extinguished, and cannot be purchased. At first, when I read these verses, I immediately thought of a young marriage afresh with all the new excitement and passion. However, after reflecting on it for a while, I began to think about marriages that have stood the test of time.
Think with me about love that has endured trials, triumphs, and decades. Is the true love of a long marriage any less strong than a new marriage? Does the love burn and blaze less, or does it simply burn and blaze differently? The steadfast love of a long-lasting marriage can be unbreakable, burning steadily through time. Love, whether young or old, is an incredibly beautiful thing.
