Before the pandemic, I think it’s safe to assume many people would not have thought of loneliness as a big issue. Maybe it was an unfortunate inconvenience, but one that was fairly easy to overcome. But once isolation, quarantine, and distance became a reality, more and more people began to understand the impacts of loneliness and the importance of closeness and social contact.
In fact, even before COVID, Cigna performed a research study that showed that 61% of Americans were lonely, with the biggest demographic being Gen Z teens between 16 and 24 years old. Gallup conducted a panel survey through the COVID outbreak to see the shifts in loneliness and, as is expected, numbers were at an all-time high during the pandemic, then lowered once quarantine procedures started to lift.
But that doesn’t mean we’re not still lonely. In 2024, Dr. Vivek Murthy, the US Surgeon General, declared loneliness as a national epidemic, with 30% of US adults saying they feel lonely at least once a week.
Dr. Robert Waldinger from Harvard says that the main aspect of loneliness that makes it different is that it has to do with personal perspective:
“Loneliness is the sense that ‘I am less connected to other people than I want to be.’ It’s a very subjective experience, and that makes it different too from isolation. So I can deliberately isolate myself and feel great about that, but only you can tell if you’re lonely. And the fact is you can be lonely in a crowd. You can be lonely in a marriage. You can also be very content and not lonely alone on a mountaintop.”
“Even before COVID, Cigna performed a research study that showed that 61% of Americans were lonely, with the biggest demographic being Gen Z teens between 16 and 24 years old.”
In the face of such a mental and emotional crisis, where surely we know someone who experiences regular or even chronic loneliness—even if that someone might be ourselves—it is invaluable to search the scriptures to see what the Creator says about it.
From the very beginning, when God created Adam, He said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18a, ESV) and thus made Eve as his helper. Yet other Bible passages offer nuance here. For example, in the New Testament, Paul encourages those who are unmarried and widowed to remain single “as I myself am” (1 Corinthians 7:7-9) because the unmarried are able to focus on “the things of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:32-34). So which is it? Is it better for us to seek companionship or not?
Loneliness in the Old Testament
The Hebrew word used in Genesis 2 is בַּד (pronounced bad), and it’s often translated as “alone,” “by itself,” or “apart.” It’s used over two hundred times in the Old Testament, though the contexts vary. For example, bad is used in Deuteronomy 8:3 (ESV), when it is first said that “man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Genesis 32:24 uses the same word, when Jacob was alone and then wrestled with an angel.
In Exodus 18, when Jethro saw all that Moses was doing for the Israelites, he said, “‘Why do you sit alone, and all the people stand around you from morning till evening? . . . What you are doing is not good. . . . You are not able to do it alone’” (Exodus 18:14, 18, ESV). Similarly, in Numbers 11, Moses complains to God about the burden that has been placed on him: “I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me,” (Numbers 11:14, ESV), and God responded that if Moses would find seventy elders, “I will take some of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them, and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, so that you may not bear it yourself alone” (Numbers 11:14, 17, ESV).
The word is used again in Deuteronomy 1 for the same reason, when Moses recalls how difficult it was for him to work alone and how God helped him choose leaders to help (Deuteronomy 1:9-12).
“I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me.”
In 1 Kings 19, Elijah hid from Jezebel, and when God asked him about it, he said “‘I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away’” (1 Kings 19:10, 14, ESV). It was then that God moved by Elijah in a strong wind, an earthquake, and fire—then spoke to Elijah in a whisper (1 Kings 19:11-12).
The psalmist in Psalm 102 uses a word form of bad when writing of his affliction, saying, “I have become like a bird alone on a roof. . . . But you, Lord, sit enthroned forever; your renown endures through all generations” (Psalm 102:7, 12, ESV).
In a prophecy in Isaiah 49, God says that there will be difficult times of bereavement and barrenness when we will feel left alone, but God will bring comfort (Isaiah 49:21-23).
In Jeremiah 15:17 (ESV), the prophet bemoans why God is leaving him alone to suffer: “I never sat in the company of revelers, never made merry with them; I sat alone because your hand was on me and you had filled me with indignation.” Then the Lord answered, “I will save you from the hands of the wicked and deliver you from the grasp of the cruel” (Jeremiah 15:21, ESV).
“God says that there will be difficult times of bereavement and barrenness when we will feel left alone, but God will bring comfort.”
Daniel says in chapter 10 that after his vision he was left alone, weak, deathly pale, and helpless (10:8). But a messenger “in the likeness of the children of man” spoke to Daniel and said, “‘Fear not, peace be with you; be strong and of good courage’” (Daniel 10:19, ESV).
Another word used for loneliness in the Old Testament is יָחִיד (yahid), which is translated as “united,” “sole,” “lonely,” “only,” or “solitary.” One such instance is in Psalm 25:16, when the psalmist says, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” And again in Psalm 68:6, the psalmist says, “God sets the lonely in families.”
Loneliness in the New Testament
Many of the words for lonely in the New Testament refer to a lonely or desolate place, but the main word that refers to lonely people is μόνος (monos).
In Matthew 14:23, Jesus dismissed his followers and went alone to pray in an act of chosen solitude.
During the Transfiguration, in Mark 9:2, Jesus took Peter, James, and John up to the top of a mountain alone and then, according to Luke 9:36, after the men saw Moses and Elijah and heard the voice of the Lord, they noticed that Jesus was alone.
In the preparation for Jesus’ death and resurrection, He tells his followers that they will leave Him alone (John 16:32) but that He is not alone because God is with Him (John 8:29).
Then, in 1 Timothy 5:5 (ESV), Paul says that “the widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.”
“Paul says that ‘the widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.'”
The Bottom Line
There are some running themes we see from these messages of loneliness in the Bible:
First is that loneliness can be a time of strength. Many times throughout Scripture, people chose solitude and thus found themselves closer to God—such as when Jacob wrestled with the angel, when Jesus went away to pray, or when Paul advised people to remain single if they could handle it. These times alone, which are often accompanied by prayer and fasting, can often lead to eye-opening, transformational experiences. Solitude often gives the opportunity to be more present and aware, which can cause us to hear God in a whisper, hear from his messengers, or be more focused on the things of the Lord. As Paul puts it in the context of celibacy, “to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:35b, ESV).
But loneliness is often not intentional, and it can be hurtful. Consistent with what God said in Genesis 2, we see from these scriptures on loneliness that people are not meant to be alone. Extended solitude is often associated with negative emotions and experiences in the Bible, and it can lead to affliction. We should lean on others as Moses did to ease our burdens and seek social relationships in order to keep our social lives full.
“We should lean on others as Moses did to ease our burdens and seek social relationships in order to keep our social lives full.”
When loneliness does strike, though, Scripture shows us time and again that God brings comfort. Whether He helps us find communities and means of support, hears our prayers, protects us, or speaks to us in a whisper, He is aware of our loneliness and provides help. Even Jesus felt lonely, but He knew that God stayed by His side.
So, if you or someone you know is one of those 30% who report feeling very lonely at least once a week, first ask yourself how you might be able to use your time alone to draw closer to God. Ask others for help and find community where you can. And above all else, ask God for help. He listens, He provides comfort, and He brings people together for mutual encouragement.
