My girls are ages five and eighteen months, and because we live in a bicultural US-Chinese home, the Nickelodeon show Ni Hao, Kai Lan (2007-2011) is a staple for our entertainment. Just recently, I was watching an episode with my toddler, where the emotional problem-solving lesson of the episode is the importance of forgiveness.
Kai Lan and her friends make mistakes, each mounting in their severity, and after each instance, they apologize, try to fix the mistake, and then say “Is it okay? Do you forgive me?” and every time, the friend who’s been wronged says, “It’s okay. I forgive you”—except, of course, at the climax, when one friend does not forgive the other for a big mistake (tearing a beloved drawing—the horror!).
In every episode of Kai Lan, the characters find a problem, figure out the cause of the problem, then sing a little song to learn how to fix the problem. In this episode, the song is this:
“When someone’s really sorry,
just say
‘It’s okay’
so they don’t feel bad!”
Then, of course, Kai Lan talks to the unforgiving friend, she sings the song with him, he decides to forgive the friend, and they all feel better: “I know it was an accident that you ripped my painting, and you worked hard to fix it. So it’s okay. I forgive you! . . . You know what? Making you feel happy makes me feel happy too! . . . Now we both feel better—and we can keep playing!”
“When someone’s really sorry, just say ‘It’s okay’ so they don’t feel bad.”
The concept of forgiveness is, like many teachings of the Bible, simultaneously simple and complex; we teach it even to our youngest children but often have trouble living it out ourselves. For a true understanding of forgiveness—more than just a little song to get you and your friend playing again—let’s take a deep dive into what the scriptures have to say.
Hebrew Words for Forgiveness in the Old Testament
In the Old Testament, there are three Hebrew words that are often translated as “forgiveness”:
- נָשָׂא (nasa) – a verb that means literally “to lift,” “to bear, “to carry,” but metaphorically “to forgive” or “to take away sin”
- סלח (salah) – a verb that means “to forgive” or “to pardon”
- כָּפַר (kapar) – a verb that means “to cover” or “to atone”
Kapar is the “forgiveness” word most commonly used throughout the Old Testament, with over one hundred usages from Genesis to Daniel, which makes sense since kapar is a word more about atonement, often through sacrifice. Almost all of the kapar verses refer to divine forgiveness through sacrifice by a priest, a leader of a house, or by a leader of a people, like a prophet. In Leviticus 17:11b (ESV), God warns against eating blood, saying, “I have given it for you on the altar to make atonement [kapar] for your souls, for it is the blood that makes atonement [kapar] by the life.”
“Almost all of the kapar verses refer to divine forgiveness through sacrifice by a priest, a leader of a house, or by a leader of a people.”
Salah is next-most used, with just over fifty usages across its word forms. The use of salah again references divine forgiveness, emphasizing direct pardon, as in Isaiah 55:6-7 (NASB), when Isaiah said to the people, “Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that He may have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon [salah].”
Nasa is trickier because the word carries with it many connotations, including to physically bear and to exalt, with over six hundred usages. But in the context of forgiveness, nasa is used only about twenty times in the Old Testament. Most of these verses, again, are about divine forgiveness, but some of them are about interpersonal forgiveness, such as Exodus 10:17, where Pharaoh asks Moses to nasa him; Leviticus 10:17, where Moses asks why the sons of Aaron have not nasa’ed the sins of the people by eating the sin offering; and Leviticus 16:22, where the scapegoat is described as nasa-ing the sins of the people during Yom Kippur.
In Isaiah, the prophecy of the Suffering Servant says that He nasas the sins of the people. The rest of the verses (including Exodus 32:32-34, 34:6-9; Numbers 14:18-19, 30:5-12; Psalm 25:18, 32:1, 85:2; and Micah 7:18-19) describe God’s nasa of sin, either by sacrificial instructions, by pleading for God’s forgiveness, or with a description of God’s forgiving nature.
“In Isaiah, the prophecy of the Suffering Servant says that He nasas the sins of the people.”
One such instance of nasa from Genesis 50 gives important insight into the nature of forgiveness—namely, that it makes sense to forgive in the context of faith in a good God. Here, Israel (Jacob) has passed away, and Joseph’s brothers have come to Egypt to ask Joseph for help during the famine, even though the brothers were terrible to Joseph in the past. Verse 17 (ESV) has Joseph’s brothers quoting Israel to Joseph saying, “Thus you shall say to Joseph, ‘Please forgive [nasa] the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you.’ And now, please forgive [nasa] the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.”
Joseph weeps when he hears this, and in verses 19-21 (ESV), he answers, “‘Am I in the place of God? You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.’ He comforted them and spoke kindly to them.”
Ultimately, Joseph’s brothers asked him, “Is it okay? Do you forgive me?” Joseph answered with tears in his eyes, “It’s okay. I forgive you.”
Old Testament Teaching on Forgiveness
From these verses and these words, we can arrive at a more complete picture of Old Testament forgiveness: sin requires sacrifice in order to receive forgiveness from God, while people can seek forgiveness from others if they humble themselves and ask for it. Sins and mistakes against God can be pardoned, lifted, and covered—but always at a price, which brings us to the ultimate price paid for human sin.
Greek Words for Forgiveness in the New Testament
In the New Testament, there are three words primarily translated as “forgive”:
- ἄφεσις (aphesis) – a noun that means a release from bondage, or forgiveness of sins or penalty
- ἀφίημι (aphiemi) – a verb that means to send away, to allow, or to leave
- χαρίζομαι (charizomai) – a verb that means to gratify
Aphiemi is used most often, with nearly 150 uses in the New Testament, and much like the Hebrew nasa, this is because it carries many meanings that can be used in other contexts, like in Matthew 4:20, when the fishermen aphiemi’ed their nets to follow Jesus instead, or in 7:4, when Jesus asks how you can aphiemi to remove the speck in your brother’s eye while you have a plank in your own, or even 27:50, when Jesus aphiemi’ed his spirit on the cross.
In the context of forgiveness, aphiemi is still used more than the other words, with 38 instances. The nature of the word aphiemi helps to understand some concepts of forgiveness, as it references the idea of yielding, letting go, and permitting. In Matthew 6:12-15, 18:21-35, Mark 11:25-26, Luke 11:4, and John 20:23, Jesus talks about aphiemi as reciprocal, asking God to aphiemi debt, just as we aphiemi our own debtors; explaining that if we aphiemi others, God will aphiemi us—and, conversely, if we don’t, He won’t.
What does the Bible say about forgiveness? “If we aphiemi others, God will aphiemi us—and, conversely, if we don’t, He won’t.”
In Matthew 9:2-6, Mark 2:5-10, Luke 5:20-24, and Luke 7:47-49, Jesus not only heals people of their ailments but aphiemi’s their sin as well, which the Pharisees believe is blasphemous. Later, in Matthew 18:21-35, Peter asks Jesus how often he should aphiemi someone else, to which Jesus tells a story about a master who aphiemi’s debts of his servants, saying that we should aphiemi others.
He similarly says in Luke 17:3-4 that if someone sins against you and repents, you should aphiemi—even if that person sins seven times and repents seven times, you likewise aphiemi seven times.
In short, Jesus says that when a brother makes a mistake and says, “Is it okay? Do you forgive me?” then you should say, “It’s okay. I forgive you.”
Probably the most powerful use of aphiemi is Jesus’s words on the cross: “Father, aphiemi them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.”
Charizomai is the next-most used Greek work for “to forgive” in the New Testament, with 23 usages. This word has the connotation of gratification or favors, emphasizing grace. Interestingly, the only time this term is used in the Gospels is in Luke’s account of the healing of the sinful woman in Luke 7. When Jesus is talking to Simon in verses 40-43, the word used is charizomai; but when Jesus specifically mentions the woman in verses 47-49, He uses aphiemi.
What does the Bible say about forgiveness? “Father, aphiemi them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.”
The rest of the uses of charizomai are in the letters/epistles, such as 2 Corinthians 2:7-13, Ephesians 4:32, and Colossians 2:13 and 3:13. This final verse, Colossians 3:13, echoes the reciprocal nature of forgiveness: “Forbearing and charizomai-ing one another, if any of you has a complaint against another; as Christ has charizomai’ed you, so you must also charizomai.”
Finally, there’s the noun aphesis, used 17 times, though many of these verses are the most crucial ones for understanding divine forgiveness in the New Testament. Aphesis means a release from bondage or pardon from sin or penalty. Almost every verse that uses aphesis references “forgiveness of sins,” as in Acts 26:18 (ESV), when Jesus spoke to Paul and said, “‘I have appeared to you . . . to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive aphesis of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in Me.”
New Testament Teaching on Forgiveness
From these passages, we see a fuller concept of forgiveness than what we see developed in the Old Testament. There are many times Jesus teaches the concept of “forgive as you have been forgiven”—not emphasizing priestly rituals for how to ask for forgiveness but instead emphasizing the importance of carrying it on to others as well, and so to glorify God through it.
There is no mention of sacrificing for forgiveness, but only repenting and asking God for forgiveness—which is like the idea of Joseph’s brothers sacrificing their dignity to ask for Joseph’s nasa. When it comes to divine forgiveness, however, there is one major change: Jesus. He offered Himself as the once-for-all sacrifice so that people would not need to work for kapar anymore. His forgiveness came to us full of grace as an act of kindness, releasing us from our bondage to sin and death by grace through faith.
What does the Bible say about forgiveness? “His forgiveness came to us full of grace as an act of kindness, releasing us from our bondage to sin and death by grace through faith.”
The Bottom Line
Seeking forgiveness takes humility and repentance, but we should give forgiveness freely—because it was freely given to us, thanks to Jesus. As we see from Joseph with his brothers, to forgive someone doesn’t mean that we pretend that what they did wasn’t a problem. Joseph was honest about what they did: “As for you, you meant evil against me” (Genesis 50:20a, ESV). But he didn’t leave it there. He knew he wasn’t in God’s place to deal judgment (“Do not fear, for am I in the place of God?”) and furthermore, that God was powerful enough to use their sin against him for ultimate good (“God meant it for good”).
If we have received God’s forgiveness through the sacrifice of Jesus, then, when wronged by others, we too can leave judgment in God’s hands, refuse to hold onto anger, and believe in God to redeem the situation, even as we remain honest about the hurt it caused. Because we have been forgiven of all our sins, we can pass along what we’ve been given: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV).
We say to God, “Is it okay? Do you forgive me?” And God looks to Jesus and responds, “It’s okay. I forgive you.”
