“Put me on the next flight. My son needs me.”
In the middle of the 2008 NBA playoffs, Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade received a call no parent wants to get—his 6-year-old son was in trouble. Wade was in the middle of a career-defining series, carrying the weight of his team and an entire city’s hopes. But that call changed everything.
His son, Zaire, had been rushed to the hospital with a medical emergency. Without hesitation, Wade left his team, canceled media appearances, and told the airline: “Put me on the next flight. My son needs me.” He flew home, stayed by Zaire’s bedside, and didn’t leave until he was stable. Then he quietly returned to the court, picked up where he left off, and didn’t make a big deal of it in the press.
Later, when asked about it, Wade simply said, “Basketball is what I do. But being a dad—that’s who I am.”
Most of us won’t even decline a work call—let alone drop everything—to show up for our family. What are the moments that matter most to your kids? And what are you willing to do to be there? We say family is our top priority—but would our calendars, texts, and screen time agree?
“Basketball is what I do. But being a dad—that’s who I am.”
Here are three small shifts that can help your family feel like they’re first:
1. Allow Interruptions
As a pastor’s kid, I’ve often been asked, “What did your dad do right?” In ministry, it’s easy for leaders to love other people more than their own kids—in the name of Jesus. That’s how you end up with a lot of disgruntled, deconstructed preacher’s kids. But my dad did one thing especially well: he allowed interruptions.
He didn’t compartmentalize ministry into a space we couldn’t access. He invited us into it. My dad would hold counseling appointments in our living room. And when my brother or I wandered through the kitchen, he’d wave us over and say something like, “This young man has been telling me he’s struggling with drugs. What do you think he should do?” The church became our neighborhood hangout. We knew where they stashed the snacks and we knew the best hiding spots for hide-and-seek. I have so many good memories simply being at work with my dad.
Do your kids know they have VIP access to you? Or does it feel like they’re facing a bouncer every time they try to interrupt your day?
Are you putting your kids on hold for your boss—or your boss on hold for your kids?
You don’t have to wait for “Bring Your Kid to Work Day.” Introduce your coworkers to your kids. Let them see you in action. Give them small jobs to do—shredding papers, organizing supplies—and let them be part of your world.
“Do your kids know they have VIP access to you?”
2. Round Up at Home
Most of us round up at work and round down at home. We answer weekend emails. Stay late. Stretch a “quick task” into another hour. And even when we’re home, our minds are still in the office.
But what if we flipped the script?
I once heard former NFL coach Tony Dungy say, “We work hard so we can get home.” Most people spend their whole morning getting ready for work. What if everything we did at work was getting us ready to come home?
Instead of dragging out the day, wrap up those last few tasks and surprise your family by getting home early. Watch what a difference that hour makes. And when you do have to work late, negotiate some comp time. Use it for a long weekend, a breakfast date, or a walk with your kid after school. Fight to get that time back.
Because every yes at work is a no to someone at home.
And if the imbalance keeps growing, maybe it’s time to pray about a different schedule—or even a different career.
“Every yes at work is a no to someone at home.”
3. Be There for the Big Moments
One of my favorite childhood movies was Hook. In it, Peter Pan has grown up into a workaholic lawyer who forgets what matters most. There’s a painful moment where he misses his son’s baseball game because of a phone call.
At the end of our lives, we won’t wish we’d spent more time at the office. We’ll wish we could relive the birthdays, the recitals, the school drop-offs—the simple moments that shaped our families.
So be there.
Be there when they take their first steps. Be there when the training wheels come off. Be there for the game, the program, the dance. Reschedule the meeting. Cancel the call. Do whatever it takes. Because how we show up for our kids will shape how they view love—and how they come to understand Jesus. As Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
