My 12-year-old loves baseball. He watches it, plays it, studies it; he lives and sleeps baseball. We’ve been strict up to this point: he plays only in rec leagues, and we don’t spend a lot of time dwelling on it. We have bigger priorities in life. We don’t need him to be our retirement plan. We aren’t banking on him going to the Majors. So we’ve taken it slow. But this year, he got invited to try out for a new travel/select team and we agreed. On a few conditions.
First. Let me backtrack. As a pastor, I have privately bemoaned the life of travel ball parents. (AAU, Club volleyball, baseball, soccer, all of it) because it takes people away from their church community on Sundays. That’s not even because I don’t think the math of expensive teams and tournaments doesn’t equate to college scholarships, or because the field is so watered down these days that what was once an exclusive, top-level accomplishment often becomes run of the mill. I started telling people that our rival wasn’t First Baptist or Cool Church down the street; our rivals were KY Diamond Dawgs Elite Select Prospect South and sleeping in. (Honorable mentions to lake houses and work…)
But as culture shifted, I had two choices: Keep whining, or start challenging people to live on mission even when they are spending all day two hours away from home playing a team from down the street. So the challenge became: Don’t miss church; BE the church.
“The challenge became: Don’t miss church; BE the church.”
But my son has now reached the age where, if he wants to take baseball seriously (I’m not delusional to think my son is the next Shohei Ohtani…but I believe if he works at it he can be really good!), if he wants the kind of challenge and development he is asking for, this seemed like the next step. So we prayed, and fretted, and prayed, and talked to people who are in that world. And as a family, we came up with a few rules we’re going to live by as we dip our toe into the world of travel ball. Apparently, when I write for RENEW.org, I only write rules. I don’t know why. Sorry.
Anyways. Here they are. These are the rules we’re going to live by as we get ready to navigate this life of travel ball as a family of Christians, as a pastor, and as people. (Inspirational credit for these comes from several pastor friends of mine who are also navigating these uncharted waters with their kids.) I think these rules go beyond baseball, and they go beyond pastors’ kids—you and your family will benefit from these as well, regardless of your career or their sport.
1. Gatherings BEFORE Games.
We’re incredibly lucky. The team we’re on is sponsored by our local Fellowship of Christian Athletes chapter and is dedicated to doing what it takes to help our boys in their walk with Jesus. At our first tournament experience, FCA hosted a pre-game chapel and invited other teams to join.
That may not always be the case, but it has been helpful for us. Regardless, we’ve told Abel that he will gather with other believers every week. Maybe it’s a Thursday/Saturday night service elsewhere, maybe it’s a small group devo with dad and a few others, maybe it’s attending church in his uniform and heading straight to the field. But we will make sure that gathering is an absolute priority. Non-negotiable. 
Additionally, he serves in our preschool ministry and tech booth. We’ve already told him that if tournaments fall on days of his turns serving, it is his responsibility to find someone to fill his place. He has to call/email/ensure that his job is done if he is missing. While his missing could hurt his team on the field, his missing at church will hurt his team at the church. So swapping turns and recruiting fill-ins becomes a priority.
“While his missing could hurt his team on the field, his missing at church will hurt his team at the church. So swapping turns and recruiting fill-ins becomes a priority.”
2. Character OVER Competition.
Abel is fantastic. He makes good choices at home, at school, and everywhere he goes. He’s 12, that may change, but right now he has earned a healthy amount of trust for a 12-year-old. If that changes? So does his status on the team. If his character takes a dip, sports take a seat.
We’ve spent 12 years praying, cultivating and teaching this boy to be who Jesus called him to be. We will not allow a desire to be a better baseball player overtake our desire for him to be like Jesus. We’re not just pushing a baseball player; we’re pushing a boy into a man. We’re challenging him to be like Jesus, and to do what Jesus did. He’s not perfect, but he’s full of integrity and character, and we’re going to do what we can to keep him there!
This also means that we do, say, and believe the right things on the field. We live like Jesus not just in our homes but on the field. How we treat umpires, the other team, and our own team matters. This is part of why we’ve agreed to let him play on this team. We know the character and competency of this coaching staff, we’ve seen them repeatedly put Jesus at the center of all they do, and trust that they will continue to do so.
I’ve been the coach who yells at an umpire (I have repented!). I’ve seen the coaching with the filthy mouths and the teams that belittle and bully each other. They might win games, but they lose something that I won’t let us. Something similar to, “what does it profit a man to gain the whole world but lose his soul…”
“How we treat umpires, the other team, and our own team matters.”
3. Development NOT Diamonds.
Every single weekend of the summer on my Facebook feed is another parent posting a picture of their kids posing with a $6 plastic ring: they won the local world series Double Bronze Bracket and they are the champs! Winning is fun, but our heart is not to get him a bunch of plastic rings. We’re committing to this venture to help develop character, skills, and strength. (Some would argue that sports don’t develop character—they reveal it…semantics, I say!)
The purpose is not so he can line his wall with plaques, but it’s because we believe that sports teach us about teamwork, resiliency, hard work, grit, and handling pressure. So we don’t want to join the easiest tournaments, and we don’t want to play down. We want to see him challenged and pushed to give his all. We make sure that he gives his all in the classroom, and at church, and now, for the first time, we’re going to start pushing him to give his all on the field.
We sat him down and told him plainly—it’s time to work. We’re going to expect him to practice harder on his own, we’re going to push him to do extra work, and we’re going to raise the bar, because he wants the bar raised. He may not end up in Majors (he could!). But I am not after a contract. I want to see him work, and succeed, and strive for something more, and all the while, being challenged by friends and coaches who love Jesus, and are pursuing him even more. We’re after him becoming a better athlete and better man more like Jesus. That’s what we’re after.
“We want to see him challenged.”
I readily admit that we don’t have all of the answers. I can also be in the “rules are meant to be broken” camp of life sometimes. But with how youth sports have changed drastically in the last 20 years, I believe these rules will help us navigate the terrain of travel sports and continue to pursue the faith that we believe to be of the highest priority. We hope baseball teaches him how to compete, work, fail, lead, and grow—and you probably have similar hopes for your kids in sports. But remember: if your young athlete wins every tournament and loses sight of Jesus, then you will have lost the only championship that matters.
