We learn about Michal in the books of 1 and 2 Samuel in the Bible. She was the daughter of King Saul and the wife of King David’s youth. God had promised the Savior would come through David’s lineage; however another thousand years would pass before Jesus appeared on earth. If Jesus had come during David’s time, what message might he have had for Michal? He might have told the teenaged girl who fell in love with the handsome warrior to guard her heart. He might have told the 20-something Michal not to hang on to the brokenness of life, but to find healing in the One whose love is true.
Samuel, a righteous man of God, anointed and mentored two kings of Israel, Saul and David. During his lifetime, Samuel saw both kings disappoint their families, their people, and their God. We read about how Saul, Michal, and David all sought the wrong things through intrigue, passion, and selfishness. A father should have loved his daughter; a husband should have loved his wife. As His representatives, the two kings should have loved God and each other. Instead, they were at war. Perhaps Michal was the biggest loser; she was a trophy, a pawn, and then discarded. But broken hearts don’t have to stay broken.
To understand Michal’s situation, we must look at the two men who most impacted her life: Saul and David. Saul and David began as friends. David was a boy warrior who had the acclaim of the people after he reminded them of their God and killed Goliath to prove God was greater than their enemies. He became a confidant of Saul by playing his harp, soothing the troubled king in stressful times. Saul’s son, Jonathan, and David were devoted friends.
“A father should have loved his daughter; a husband should have loved his wife.”
But as Saul continued to reject God, he became unstable and dangerous. Saul increasingly made the loyal David the object of his wrath because Saul knew God had rejected him and that the people were shifting their allegiance away from him and toward David.
“Now the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and a harmful spirit from the Lord tormented him (1 Samuel 16:14, ESV)
When Saul rejected Samuel’s instructions to follow God’s commands, Samuel secretly anointed David as King of Israel (1 Samuel 16). The more the Lord led David through one victory after another, the more Saul’s jealousy consumed him. From 1 Samuel 18:16, we know the people of Israel were captivated by David—none more than Michal, Saul’s youngest daughter. David was described as “ruddy and handsome in appearance” (1 Samuel 17:42).
In a ploy to control David, Saul had offered his older daughter, Merab, as a reward for slaying Goliath. David humbly declined, saying that he was not worthy to be a king’s son-in-law (1 Samuel 18:17-18). But Michal, Saul’s youngest daughter, “was in love with David” (1 Samuel 18:20). The account does directly relate that David loved Michal, but since it seems that together they told Saul about their feelings, it appears David was agreeable.
Michal in the Middle
Saul agreed to the marriage—as a way to sabotage David and remove the obstacle to his own power. He devised a scheme to get David killed by demanding he mutilate a hundred Philistine soldiers as a bride-price. Saul’s eccentric plan failed. So much so that David doubled the required evidence. As a not-so-thinly-veiled insult, he mutilated two hundred Philistine soldiers, thus initiating his marriage to Michal with unimaginable violence against his enemies, and indescribable animosity between a father-in-law and her husband. With this animosity plain for Michal to see, the marriage began on the worst possible footing. Sadly, this was a precursor of the violent life David would have. In fact, in 1 Chronicles 22:8 (ESV), we read this conversation between David and his son Solomon:
“My son, I had it in my heart to build a house to the name of the Lord my God. But the word of the Lord came to me, saying, ‘You have shed much blood and have waged great wars. You shall not build a house to my name, because you have shed so much blood before me on the earth.’”
Saul’s military reputation declined and David’s increased. Saul’s plans to kill his son-in-law grew increasingly obvious, including asking his son Jonathan to kill him. David was now in danger from Saul’s family and attendants. This put anyone who loved him, including his wife Michal and her brother Jonathan, in danger. David escaped but was now a fugitive from his father-in-law.
“With this animosity plain for Michal to see, the marriage began on the worst possible footing.”
Michal warned David that Saul’s men were on orders to kill him, and she devised a scheme to protect David from her father’s men. She told them David was sick and in bed, but when they came to seize him, it was only a stuffed pillow she’d designed to look like a man (1 Samuel 19:13). David was long gone, thanks to Michal’s strategy. When her father confronted her, she lied—saying David had threatened to kill her if she didn’t let him go.
After David escaped, Saul was in open conflict with David. Saul gave Michal to another man, Paltiel, who was from Gallim. David eventually married two other women, and during the years before David became king, there is no evidence that he made any effort to bring Michal back to his side.
Both Saul and David had a loyal following, and they went on to battle for at least 15 years. Michal’s father had used her as his pawn in a most inhumane way. He had no regard for her life or her feelings as the wife of David. She had to have been fearful and angry. And then she was given to another man—stated as a fact in Scripture with seemingly no consideration given to Michal’s wishes.
Brokenness amid Rejoicing
Psalm 18 was written to celebrate David’s victory over Saul and his armies. It is a personal expression that celebrates God’s faithfulness to the faithful. But David’s spiritual reality was not consistent—as we see in his relationships with women.
Some context: David was anointed by Samuel around the age of 15-20. He was probably 18-20 when he slew Goliath. The war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time (1 Samuel 3:1). David and Michal were probably apart for around 8 years. When David gained more power and his rule as king of all Israel was imminent, he sent for Michal.
The obvious question is, why did David send for Michal after all this? Was it because he longed for the wife of his youth? Or was it a political move? Various scholars have suggested it may have been a combination of the two. It is possible that he missed Michal all that time, but while Saul was alive, they could not have had stayed together because she would have been in danger. After all, he had not sent his wife away; his wife had been stolen from him. Whatever the motive, after many years, as king he now demanded what was his. Michal was his legal wife.
However, some obvious benefits would come to David if Saul’s daughter was with him. This move would undo the disgrace of being rejected by Saul. She represented a legitimate claim to the throne, and Saul’s supporters would be pressed into accepting David as their rightful leader with Michal by his side. This would fortify David’s kingdom and hopefully head off a division between the two camps. Michal would have understood this reality, and it likely would not have drawn her to return to David.
“David and Michal were probably apart for around 8 years. When David gained more power and his rule as king of all Israel was imminent, he sent for Michal.”
It must have been catastrophic to leave the security of a loving relationship after what had happened to her years earlier. She had obviously endeared herself to Paltiel. He was so distraught that he followed her, weeping and pleading for her return (2 Samuel 3:14-16). We have no way of knowing whether they had children, but it would not be unreasonable to think that she was leaving their children behind.
Michal was no longer a love-sick teenager. David had many women—wives and concubines, as well as children by them. We can imagine this relationship would not have been anything she desired at this point in her life. She was the daughter of a king and from what she had experienced, David’s throne would likely have held little appeal. His tendency toward violent battles was public knowledge, as she well knew from the bride-price incident.
Although David was powerful, there were still more battles to be fought before he could rule over of all Israel. Saul’s death and David’s lament open the book of 2 Samuel. We learn that David was 30 years old at the time (2 Samuel 5:4). When he finally defeated the Philistines as king of Israel, his great desire was to return the Ark of the Covenant to the new capital of Jerusalem. Although God had brought David to victory, He taught him an important heart lesson in the process.
“Michal was no longer a love-sick teenager.”
With the Ark of the Covenant in his possession, David expected to have the power of the Lord in his camp (2 Samuel 6:1-11; I Chronicles 15:1-2). He understood what the power of God meant for his reign and for Israel, because they would be invincible with God on their side. But their method of transporting the ark didn’t align with God’s direct command, and this oversight would lead to tragedy.
During the celebratory procession bringing the ark to Jerusalem, the ark shifted from where it sat on a cart and the priest Uzzah put up his hand to steady it. Uzzah died immediately, and David was so upset that he left the ark at Obed-Edom. This episode represented a lack of knowledge of God’s laws and a lack of attention to what God wanted. God’s presence was not just their “talisman” for power and protection; he was their God. 
When David returned to the task of transporting the ark to Jerusalem, this time they properly handled the ark and arrived into Jerusalem rejoicing and celebrating. None were as excited as King David, who praised the Lord with abandon in front of the people (2 Samuel 6:12-19; 1 Chronicles 15-16). At this point, David’s heart was right before God. He had realized the mistakes he had made the first time he tried to bring the ark to Jerusalem. He was excited and joyful in the Lord, dancing before God among the people and without his royal robes. This was probably one of his highest days as a leader in Israel, his heart filled with zeal for God as the nation shouted with joy and the musicians played rams’ horns, trumpets, cymbals, and stringed instruments.
“None were as excited as King David, who praised the Lord with abandon in front of the people.”
Yet we find here an extreme and sad difference between David and his nation on the one hand and of Michal on the other:
“Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David dancing and celebrating, she despised him in her heart.” (1 Chronicles 15:29, ESV)
Once again, all Israel expressed love for God and his servant David, but this time Michal saw David through her suffering and rejection. What David expressed to God as praise and worship must have seemed the height of hypocrisy to Michal. Her love for him had been immature (eros), and it could not handle the twists and turns life had taken. She made sure David understood that when he returned from the festivities.
We see from the Chronicles account that David had “returned home to bless his family” (1 Chronicles 16:43). We can imagine his joyful spirit and that he wanted to share that joy with his wife. But when David’s foot crossed the threshold, Michal attacked him in the way that a wife who wants to inflict pain often wields. She attacked his ego. Michal insulted David’s pride, worse yet his dignity, and his worship of God.
David may have had a big ego, but Michal had a broken heart, and she wallowed in it. She was brokenhearted, but with bitterness and self-pity. Anger, pride, and self-righteousness come with victimization. But these emotions don’t bring healing. Instead, they prolong the agony and add more negativity. Only a deep trust in the God David loved and served would have given her some hope. Sadly, the one person from whom she could have learned from about such a relationship with God is also one who caused much of that chaos.
“David may have had a big ego, but Michal had a broken heart, and she wallowed in it.”
However, we can see how other women during the era endured extremely difficult and disappointing trials in life. Sarah trusted her husband’s God. Deborah took the lead in her time and showed a nation how to trust God. Naomi worked through bitterness and loss by realizing God’s hand was with her and not against her. Hannah’s desperation led her to seek God in prayer.
Michal’s need for a loving and secure relationship clashed with David’s need to be exalted as “king,” especially in his own home. In this story of Michal rebuking David, it’s perhaps significant that Michal is called “Saul’s daughter” (2 Samuel 6:20), and David’s response treats her as such: “It was before the Lord, who chose me above your father and above all his house, to appoint me as prince over Israel…” (2 Samuel 6:21, ESV). The fact that she “had no child to the day of her death” (2 Samuel 6:23) meant there would never be another heir from the house of Saul who would rise to the throne.
Finding Healing
As flawed as David was, many of David’s psalms teach the way back to a healthy relationship with the Lord—something we wish we saw evidenced in Michal’s life. Many of these same attitudes are what help us have healthy relationships with family and with friends. If we want advice, God’s Word is the most reliable.
In every relationship problem, all parties come to the issue as broken people. The attitude shown in Psalm 57:1—“Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge”—is the place to start. We choose humility, trusting God, and finding refuge in Him, and we extend that humility and peace outward to the people around us. Sometimes we expect others to be our ultimate refuge when only God can be the provider and protector we can fully trust.
Paul narrates in Acts 13:22 (NIV), “He [God] testified concerning him: I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.” Flawed as we may be, if we are willing to trust God and learn to do what God wants us to, we will learn God’s heart and find the way to personal healing, and in the healing of a relationship. May we let the truth that John wrote comfort us through the process: “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are” (1 John 3:1a, ESV).
