Sex is deeply, deeply spiritual. When the Bible talks about sexuality, notice the language of deep intimacy and oneness:
“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. . . . Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:23-24, ESV)
“The two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32, ESV)
In my twenties, when I was first getting acquainted with the scriptures and coming to church, I was a successful entertainer with the fame, fortune, and lifestyle to show for it. Easy access to sex came with the territory. This is embarrassing, but I remember when I first started learning from the Bible that sex was reserved for marriage, I actually asked my new Christian friends if I could get an exemption for that rule on professional grounds!
My ignorance about the nature of sexuality and the selfish decisions that followed had left me empty and depressed. What I learned is that sex, whether you realize it or not, yokes you to someone in a deeply spiritual way (1 Corinthians 6:16). So you’re far better off being yoked in the way God intended you to be.
“What I learned is that sex, whether you realize it or not, yokes you to someone in a deeply spiritual way.”
I had become my own authority in the area of sexuality, and it had taken me to a dark place.
We often do that when it comes to relationships—just wing it however feels right in the moment. And when things go bad, we often don’t learn from the mistakes; rather, we repeat the same destructive cycles and say, “I can’t believe this happened to me again.” Taylor Swift makes a lot of money singing about bad relationships precisely because her stories resonate with millions of people.
We were created in God’s image and for His glory. Our sexuality is a gift, given to us to reflect the mystery between Christ and the Church. Yes, we are able to misuse the gift and break the heart of the Giver. Alternately, we can start paying attention to the Giver and enjoy the gift infinitely more by using it as it was intended to be used.
2 Main Obstacles to Embracing God’s Truth about Sex
There are two main obstacles to embracing God’s truth about sex and romantic relationships. The first is the desire to fit in. So we do what others do. To that I say, if you want different results from what most people are having, don’t do what they do.
The second obstacle is wanting to be at the center of our own story. To that I say, how has that been working out for you so far?
God’s rules for sexuality were counterintuitive for me, but I decided to place Him firmly at the center of my story and humbly submit to His will. It helped to be in community with people for whom the “normal” was the Bible. In that community, I found a culture of discipleship, where “one another” relationships transformed characters and hearts.
“God’s rules for sexuality were counterintuitive for me, but I decided to place Him firmly at the center of my story and humbly submit to His will.”
1 Timothy 5:2 teaches us to treat “younger women as sisters, in all purity.” It was amazing to be in a community where this was a reality. Honor, respect, and holiness in relationships with women became my new normal.
Submitting to Christ’s Lordship
Four years into the journey, I met Deb. I courted and married her. I come from three generations of broken homes. Before I submitted to the lordship of Christ, every relationship I had ended in failure and pain. I have now been happily married for over twenty years and our love grows stronger every year. The gift of sex is being gratefully used exactly how God intended it to be. It’s a wonderful thing.
How does this resonate with you? When it comes to romantic relationships, will you allow Him to wash you clean from whatever regrets and shame you have? Will you stop doing what everyone else is doing? Will you let Him be the center of your story?
