It’s true that the Bible talks about parents way more than it talks about grandparents. The most foundational family discipleship passages in Scripture are written with the parent-child relationship in focus. For example:
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children.” (Deuteronomy 6:6–7a, NIV)
Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. (Proverbs 1:8–9)
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4, NIV)
But the power of a grandma or grandpa doesn’t go unnoticed in Scripture. And although God calls parents to be the main disciplers in their children’s lives, grandparents have some significant advantages in this area. This is true whether the parents are doing a good job discipling their kids or not. Without detracting at all from the vital role parents are meant to play, here are four disciple-making advantages you have as grandparents that parents don’t have. (As you read through them, you’ll want to realize that all four are advantages, even if some, at first glance, might not seem like it.) Let’s take a look at the list.
More Life.
As a grandparent, you’ve lived longer than your grandkids or their parents. If you’ve been paying attention throughout your life, this means you have more wisdom to share. You’ve seen more times when God came through in a tight situation. You’ve experienced more moments when the Bible’s promises and warnings were proved true. Having made even more of your own mistakes means more wisdom—if you’re humble enough to learn from them and share what you learned. You’ve had a longer time to view God’s power. Therefore, you’re the best situated to pray Psalm 71:18 (NIV): “Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.”
“Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.”
More Time.
If you’re a grandparent, you’re probably not in as frantic a season as most parents, whose lives might seem to resemble a squirrel darting to and fro as they rush from baseball practices to orthodontic appointments, from dance recitals to awards ceremonies. Whether you’re retired or not, your days are likely not as cluttered by the urgent, stressful demands that fill many parents’ lives. You’ve got more time to pause and carve out meaningful experiences and conversations. Taking a grandkid to go get ice cream together could bring you a break from a predictable routine, even as it brings their parent a nice break from parenthood’s unrelenting responsibilities. You could very well be one of the most patient listeners in your grandkids’ lives—an irreplaceable value. And since patient listeners earn the right to speak wisdom, you’ll also be positioned to point them to Jesus.
Less Time.
Even as grandparents sometimes have more time for unhurried interaction with grandkids, they also have less time in terms of time remaining to live. You don’t have as many years left. Is that morbid? Not really. It’s just realistic, and it’s connected to gaining wisdom. As Psalm 90:12 prays, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (NIV). Knowing you have less sand left in the top of the hourglass makes you want the rest of the time to count. Climbing a ladder to “success” takes on far less significance, and instead, you’re freed to focus on leaving a legacy of faith in Jesus to the emerging generation.
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
Less Coolness.
No, we’re not calling anybody uncool. However, let’s be honest: It is harder to keep up with the latest technology, fashion, and slang the older we get. On the one hand, we do need to keep up with changes that keep us connected with the younger generation. For example, if you live in a different state from your grandkid and you learn that talking face-to-face over the phone is the best way they communicate, then you need to get that app on your phone and learn how to use it. On the other hand, there’s a hidden benefit to not being fluent in all the latest fads. Being a grandparent who is secure in who you are, whether your wallpaper is out-of-date or your shoes are more comfortable than trendy, helps your grandkid feel more secure in who they are when they’re around you. Around you, they’re not anxious to gauge if they’re in or out of style because in you, they’ve found a bedrock that doesn’t shift based on the latest craze.
Now, please don’t read this as an excuse to get sloppy in your knowledge of pop culture. It’s good to keep up with what’s going on in your world. But this is permission to be yourself—a grandparent—and to let your contentedness in who you are invite your grandkids into a sense of contentedness in who God made them to be.
Excerpted from David Upchurch & Daniel McCoy, The Disciple Making Grandparent: A Guidebook for Helping Your Grandchild Trust and Follow Jesus (RENEW.org, 2025).
