Dear RENEW.org Network Friends,
RENEW.org and Discipleship.org are partnering with BetterMan for a one-day conference in Dallas on September 11, 2025, called “Discipling Men.”
Let me tell you why we are partnering with BetterMan on this conference. It starts with a story.
It wasn’t too long ago that a lead pastor from a huge church with thousands in attendance retired and moved to my community, from out of state. We are connected through our Restoration Movement heritage, so I invited him over to my house. I had heard he was a good man and I wanted to get to know him.
I welcomed him into my living room, told him I had heard good things about him, and we engaged in a little chit-chat. Then abruptly he turned to me and said something like the following, “Why does RENEW.org not just back off on their teaching on male headship (leadership) in the church? You would have a lot more churches involved if you did.” I was taken aback by the abruptness of his question.
So, I started to explain our theological concerns about egalitarianism (i.e., women can be elders and lead preachers and men are not to be the heads in the home). I made the case for RENEW.org’s nuanced complementarianism. We went back and forth on the biblical arguments.
“Let me tell you why we are partnering with BetterMan on this conference.”
Then I paused and said: “Let’s set aside the biblical arguments for a moment and let me tell you why we [nuanced complementarians] have a better story to tell than egalitarians, how we make a bigger, more practical difference for good in the lives of people, and how our teaching is more in sync with the way men and women were created.”
So, I made my case.
After the discussion on what I described as “our better story,” he admitted I was making good points. Then he said this: “You should lead with that when you talk to people about this topic!”
Do complementarians really have a better story than egalitarians? Here are some of the nuanced complementarian points that I made to him about egalitarian church leaders:
- They have almost nothing unique—from Scripture—to say to the floundering young men in their late teens, twenties, and early thirties who are NOT thriving today.
- They cannot tell their sons from Scripture what it uniquely means to be a man.
- They cannot tell their daughters from Scripture what it uniquely means to be a woman.
- They have little to say to teens who are confused about their identity as male or female or gender fluid.
- They will struggle to address the unique wiring of men or the unique wiring of women.
In her book, The Toxic War on Masculinity, Nancy Pearcey summarizes the relevant studies and demonstrates statistically that Christ-centered, complementarian men make the best husbands and fathers. Yes, read that again: it has been statistically shown that Christlike, complementarian men make the best husbands and fathers.
“It has been statistically shown that Christlike, complementarian men make the best husbands and fathers.”
I previously described what a Christlike man looks like in the post, “What Does It Mean to be a Man?”
The differences between male and female were created by God, and these differences are good, intentional, and foundational for both identity and family/church flourishing. When healthy complementarian men lead, here is what it looks like:
- Men tend to rise and aspire to Jesus-style headship; it draws on a biological hardwiring for challenge that God created within and calls on them to be noble.
- Husbands accept a unique responsibility to love, lead, and serve their wives.
- Wives flourish emotionally and provide strong help as they are loved and protected by their husbands.
- Wives temper their expectations for their husbands and are less likely to manipulate and control their husbands; greater harmony is created in the home.
- Men get more involved in church and family life, even as worldly pursuits hold less appeal.
- Women experience less fear, more security, and greater contentment.
- Children are more secure in their family and develop better counter-cultural attitudes.
In short, I told my preacher friend that men and women were created to be different—but that egalitarians have lost the ability to teach young men (from Scripture) how they are different from women and have unique callings. Egalitarianism hinders their ability to disciple men, husbands, and build strong families.
“The differences between male and female were created by God, and these differences are good, intentional, and foundational for both identity and family/church flourishing.”
Do you want to learn more about the practical implementation of these teachings? Do you want to explore more how we can disciple men to be all God created them to be? Then join us as we partner with BetterMan, a ministry that is uniquely equipping men to live out these values. Join us at Lake Church in the Dallas Fort-Worth area, where RENEW.org will be partnering with BetterMan and Discipleship.org for the “Discipling Men Conference.”
Join the Discipling Men Conference HERE
My friend, Dr. Chris Harper (aka Harp), CEO of BetterMan does a great job in connecting with and showing the way for men. Harp and I share a passion for discipling men and for the theological teaching that fuels it. For years, they at BetterMan have freely given out our eBook, Complementarian Versus Egalitarian: 10 Questions for Egalitarian Church Leaders which addresses the theological concerns I mentioned above. We are now turning to them to help us better address the practical applications of these teachings.
Jonathan Storment, preacher at Pleasant Valley Church of Christ, will represent RENEW.org Network. There will be dynamic teaching, practical insights, and a call to spiritual leadership. This event is designed to help churches reclaim biblical discipleship—especially among men and boys who need it most. We hope you will make plans now to join us in Dallas, on September 11 as we take this important step forward together.
