I’ve only ever worn a purple robe once in my life—the day I graduated high school. I grew up in Fairbanks, Alaska, and attended Lathrop High School. Our colors were purple and gold. It didn’t exactly intimidate the other sports teams when we walked out wearing what looked like interpretive dance outfits. Anyway—go Malemutes!
It’s been sixteen years since I walked across that stage and received my diploma. Looking back, I can’t help but notice how different my life looks now than I thought it would back then. My plans were significantly disrupted by God calling me into vocational ministry. I certainly had no idea I would spend my life serving as a pastor in Boise, Idaho (though at least we have famous potatoes).
Since then, I’ve had the privilege of discipling many teenagers and young adults through mentorship and small groups. It often makes me wonder: what if I had the chance to speak into my own life at that age? If I somehow found a time machine—Marty McFly style—and could sit down for coffee with my younger self, what would I say?
Here are a few things I’d tell him. Maybe they’ll resonate with you—or with a graduate you know.
“Don’t give up so easily.”
Most—maybe all—of the success I’ve experienced came on the other side of significant hardship. Looking back, there were moments when I quit simply because something felt impossibly hard. I’m not saying there’s never a time to quit, but we shouldn’t quit just because something is difficult.
God often calls us to good works that are too big for us to accomplish in our own strength. That’s what forces us to depend on Him. The longer I’ve been in leadership, the more I expect hardship as part of the process. My confidence in making it through doesn’t come from my own ability—it comes from trusting that if God calls me to something, He will carry me through it.
“God often calls us to good works that are too big for us to accomplish in our own strength.”
“Dream bigger.”
If I want to see God do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine, then I need to start asking for—and imagining—bigger things.
It’s easy to settle for a vision of life that revolves around comfort: making enough money, enjoying a few vacations, and calling it success. But I want my life to make an eternal impact for the kingdom of heaven.
Ironically, the things that often shrink a God-sized vision sound practical: Think of the cost. Have you ever done that before? Why not wait? Over time, my faith has grown to believe that God truly can do the impossible.
Audacious prayers honor God when they align with His will. Before I preach, I often pray that someone would receive salvation. Think about it—that’s a miracle every time a lost person is found. Not all of our dreams will unfold the way we imagine, but living this way creates a posture of awe and expectancy. And along the way, you just might witness God do the miraculous.
“It’s ok to not be ok.”
Some of the biggest mistakes I’ve made weren’t the failures themselves—they were the times I tried to hide them.
If I could go back, I’d stop pretending I had it all together. Instead, I’d lean into my weaknesses and learn from them. I’ve found that when I humble myself before God and trusted people, I encounter grace. 
The sooner we acknowledge our shortcomings, the sooner we can receive the help we actually need. I’ve wasted far too much time acting like I knew what I was doing instead of simply asking for help.
Even deeper than that, there were seasons when my heart wasn’t in a healthy place. I delayed healing because I thought I was strong enough to carry those burdens alone. I wasn’t—and neither are you. We weren’t made to do life alone, and there’s no shame in surrounding ourselves with people who care.
“The sooner we acknowledge our shortcomings, the sooner we can receive the help we actually need.”
“Hang out with wise people.”
Young people hear some version of “be careful whom you hang out with” all the time. Now that I’m a parent, I understand why. We are far more influenced by the people around us than we realize—for better or worse.
Bad company corrupts good character, but healthy relationships sharpen us.
Looking back, I was blessed with incredible friends and mentors. In many ways, I am the product of what they poured into me. If anything, I wouldn’t just warn my younger self about the wrong crowd—I would urge him not to take wise counsel for granted.
Even now, when I reconnect with an old mentor, I hang on every word. Time with wise people is a gift—don’t waste it.
“Try new things.”
When I was a kid, I thought I could invent things all the time—whether it was potions made from whatever I found under the bathroom sink or contraptions to make life better. Somewhere along the way, I started believing that everything worth inventing had already been done.
Surely someone has thought of that already, right?
While it’s true there’s nothing new under the sun, God has invited us to be co-creators with Him. I’ve found real joy in discovering new ways to solve problems and trying different approaches in ministry.
Not everything works—especially at first—but over time, faithfulness produces fruit. I could have been far more fearless in trying new things when I was younger. A lack of experience or education doesn’t disqualify you from using your God-given gifts to make a difference.
“Over time, faithfulness produces fruit.”
What Are You Waiting For?
These are just a handful of the things I would say to my younger self. Honestly, it would be fun just to sit down with that guy and hear how he sees the world.
Each of these ideas (though not word-for-word) is explored in my book What Are You Waiting For? A Young Leader’s Guide to Changing the World. I wrote it because it’s the book I needed when I was 20 years old and first sensed God calling me to plant a church.
More than anything, it’s my attempt to pass along what I’ve learned as a young leader myself. If you’re stepping into a new season, I hope it encourages you—or maybe you’ll pass it along to someone who needs it.
And if you happen to figure out how to send a copy back in time about sixteen years, let me know.
