We often pray, “Your Kingdom come, your will be one, on earth as it is in heaven.” But what if the greatest barrier to God’s Kingdom being seen through us isn’t a major moral failure, a theological mistake, or a lack of boldness—but something as common and subtle as anger?
If we want to be people who bring heaven to earth, and we want to lead churches full of people who bring heaven to earth, then we must deal seriously with the anger that lives inside us.
Standing in line at an airport many years ago, I experienced a moment I will never forget. A man at the ticketing counter was growing angry as the airline representative was unable to accommodate his request. The more she apologized, the angrier he became. A crowd began to form around him, completely unprepared for what would happen next.
The man let out a bellow of rage and threw an orange and black stick of deodorant straight up in the air. He abruptly stomped away through the crowd, leaving his deodorant to land in the center of the circle he had vacated. No one knew what to do, as it seemed none of us had seen a man get so angry he threw his deodorant before. So, everyone just quietly began to drift away in every direction. Of course, I took a picture of the deodorant to commemorate the moment.
“We must deal seriously with the anger that lives inside us.”
I’ve never been “throw-your-deodorant-angry,” and I suspect you haven’t either, but we have to recognize that we live in a culture of perpetual offense. The things people say or do or even wear trigger immediate emotional responses. When someone “looks at you wrong” or walks across your lawn or cuts you off in traffic, contemporary culture says you are completely justified in your offense. And as if that wasn’t enough, it seems as if social media often exists solely as an incubator for offense.
To be clear, anger itself isn’t always sinful. Scripture shows moments of righteous anger, like when Jesus flipped tables because of injustice and a misuse of the temple. There is such a thing as being angry for the right reasons—namely, because we love what God loves and hate what He hates.
But let’s also be honest: most of our anger is not that type of anger. Most of our anger is rooted in personal offense, pride, frustration, and unmet expectations. It’s not sparked by a deep concern for the Kingdom of God but is rather born from our own discomfort and selfishness. And it is precisely this type of anger that is most on display, allowing people to see the worst part of us and alerting our communities and churches to our unique brand of hypocrisy. They’ve heard us preach that Jesus said to “love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us,” but they’ve also seen us when we’re “throw-your-deodorant-angry.”
“Most of our anger is rooted in personal offense, pride, frustration, and unmet expectations.”
Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV), “‘In your anger, do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” That last line is sobering. Anger gives the devil a foothold in your life. When you live in anger—when you refuse to address it, release it, or forgive it—you’re cracking open the door for the enemy to do destructive work. And when others are looking to you as a spiritual guide, the damage affects everyone around you. Anger is a serious threat to your witness, to your ministry, and to the Kingdom impact God wants to have through you.
I once found myself storming through a grocery store and stomping up to the pharmacy counter. One of my kids was sick, my wife was at her wit’s end, things weren’t going well at church, and I was angry. The pharmacy tech informed me the prescription wasn’t ready and I would need to wait. A very small part of me knew that this was a normal part of the process, but that small part was overwhelmed by the much larger part that wanted to loudly express my feelings.
I snapped at the staff, I glared at the other customers, I demanded to be helped. As I experienced the odd sensation of calming down by recognizing that I was being watched by everyone, including store security, I forced myself to apologize and walked out with my head held low in embarrassment.
“I forced myself to apologize and walked out with my head held low in embarrassment.”
Later that same day, I sat at my computer to work on the weekend’s sermon, which was, ironically, on anger. All I could think was, “What if one of the pharmacy technicians walks into church on Sunday? Will she stay to hear about Jesus? Or will she take one look at the hypocrite on the stage and walk out, never to return?”
If you are a church leader, every moment matters. People are watching and they are making eternal decisions based upon how you choose to carry yourself. I’ve seen far too many church leaders who forget that their sermons are preached much louder Monday through Friday than they are on Sunday mornings. Every moment matters.
Hebrews 12:15 (NIV) says, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” It’s a progression. What begins as a seed will become a root, which will eventually sprout and bear fruit. That small seed—left unattended—becomes bitterness, grudges, harsh words, and a hard heart. In you, the church leader, it bears unwanted fruit: disillusionment with a fallen leader, heartache from a leadership betrayal, erosion of spiritual authority, and a damaged reputation for the church.
So, what can you do? How do you deal with the problem of anger right now?
First, dig out the root.
You can’t just deal with the symptoms; that’s the equivalent of snipping off the stalk of a weed and leaving the roots to grow another in its place. Getting to the root is messy and uncomfortable. But if you don’t dig it out, it will grow back stronger, and the longer you wait, the more difficult it will be to deal with.
Second, deny the next seed.
Satan will never stop at just one attempt. As soon as you dig out one root, he will have another offense ready to throw your way. Once the roots are removed, fill the hole with something healthier. Might we allow Paul to suggest something? “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8, NIV).
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Third, if the seed has already taken deep root, invite spiritual counsel.
Several years ago, I purchased a new home and loved everything about it, with one notable exception. The front landscaping had been neglected for many years and was overgrown to the point it nearly qualified as a jungle. I knew I wanted it to be different, and I was more than willing to do the work that was needed. The problem was: I had no idea where to start.
So, I invited a landscaping company to give me a consultation, suggesting what to remove, what to keep, and what to add. With some great counsel, I was able to address the issue and work toward the solution. If you’ve allowed anger to grow deep within you, it might be time to invite wise counsel to suggest where you need to repent, what you need to cultivate, and how you might begin.
God’s Kingdom is marked by peace, joy, and grace. And your church is representative of that Kingdom, making you an ambassador to a broken people. Your unaddressed anger will render your work ineffective. If you truly want to see God’s Kingdom come, it starts with you choosing peace over payback, forgiveness over fury, and compassion over criticism.
