*Editor’s Note: In this article’s final paragraph, the author rightly calls this sports-church conflict an “elephant in the room.” As such, it’s an elephant that has plunked down in the middle of the room and seems to have no plans of exiting. “Blue laws” no longer make sporting events off limits on Sundays, and many churchgoing parents show no struggle when it comes to which event wins out. So in light of this reality, which is more problematic: for Christian families to continue to skip church for a kid’s sports event or for church leaders to confront these families’ decision as unwise or even immoral? While the following article makes room for multiple perspectives, it advocates for a more accommodating posture from church leaders. For another helpful, alternative position on this topic, I recommend this article.
As a Christian, what should you do when an event for your kid’s sports league conflicts with Sunday worship? This topic has been on my heart for a while. I’ve encountered different views and been on both sides of the question—both as a Christian leader and as a parent of a young athlete. This topic touches thousands of us, and it doesn’t show any signs of slowing down.
Before we delve into the topic, let me take a moment to give the context I’ll be writing from. This topic remains complicated but might be a bit easier for me and my wife Heather because our athlete daughter Noelle loves the Lord and wants to live for Him. (We got to lead her to faith, and I was blessed to baptize her a few years ago!) We want nothing more than to see her walk with Christ continue to grow as she transitions into adulthood. That is our utmost priority!
“We want nothing more than to see her walk with Christ continue to grow as she transitions into adulthood.”
As a family, we enjoy, benefit from, and are committed to gathering with fellow believers throughout the week in multiple and diverse settings. This is most often on the first day of the week (technically not the Sabbath, but rather the day of Jesus’ resurrection from the dead; see Acts 20:7, Acts 2:42ff, and Hebrews 4). How early Jewish Christians came to prioritize the first day of the week is another fascinating topic for another day!
At the same time, my wife and I feel the pull from sports, and there are times that Noelle’s soccer league takes us away on the weekends, so that we have to get creative about how we can continue to meet with the church to encourage each other during those weeks. Sometimes this involves visiting churches in those locations, and other times this involves meeting together with other Christian parenting couples in our league. We are giving an honest effort to encouraging our young athlete in her craft while continuing to cultivate intentional Christian community.
So, that’s my context. Maybe you too are reading this as a parent whose kids remain devoted to church even as they are involved in sports. Or perhaps your kid mainly goes to church when and because you make them do it, but deep down you’re concerned that when they move out, they’ll put their faith on the back burner. Whatever your context, I hope and pray that the following thoughts of mine can encourage you as Christian parents of athletes who may be feeling the pull of schedules and finances and yet who are committed to teaching and modeling the lordship of Jesus Christ in all that you do.
“We are giving an honest effort to encouraging our young athlete in her craft while continuing to cultivate intentional Christian community.”
Or you might be reading this more as a church leader than a parent. If so, I hope my thoughts help you as well navigate this issue thoughtfully, as sports conflicts don’t have to be a reason for despair. In fact, I believe they can provide opportunities for helping disciple families into creatively prioritizing fellowship and worship.
For starters, here are a couple passages from the book of Hebrews which can guide us when it comes to navigating the conflict between sports and church:
“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:22-25, NIV)
“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12, NIV)
“. . . not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
As Christians, meeting together regularly takes top priority. We need each other! We must not give up meeting together. Moreover, we must let God’s Word search our hearts and bring our motives to light. We need to acknowledge that, although hearts can be deceitful and we can tend toward self-justification or toward legalism toward others, God knows our hearts and intentions. In the heat of this kind of debate, Christians might misunderstand and misrepresent each other, and we need to rely on God and His perfect Word and perfect discernment to help us cut through all of that.
So with these truths in mind, here are some questions we Christian parents might think through when it comes to conflicts between church and sports. If your child is in a league that takes you away from your local church on some weekends, you might ask yourself:
- Is there perhaps another comparable league your kids could participate in?
- If on the road, have you considered worshiping, praying, taking communion, and spending time in God’s Word as a family? Church in New Testament times was often simple and house-based, and it can be a blessing to worship as a family from time to time.
- Have you considered worshipping at another time slot or with other congregations during the travel season (e.g., Saturday service, different service times on Sunday, visiting a new church when on the road, etc.)?
“If on the road, have you considered worshiping, praying, taking communion, and spending time in God’s Word as a family?”
- Are you being realistic about the level at which your child plays? Some leagues cost much in terms of time, talent, devotion, and financial sacrifice, often with the hope that it will result in a career or scholarship down the road. Yet it’s important to be honest that only a fraction of 1% will make it professionally. On the other hand, it’s also true that there are ways to have a career and/or ministry around sports beyond one’s youth, whether as a coach, trainer, director of a club, or doing sports ministry whether local or global.
- Are you humble and courageous enough to bring this dilemma up with your local ministers/pastors/elders, so that you can get their guidance?
- Are you ever guilty of using your kid’s sports as an excuse to avoid gathering with your brothers and sisters in Christ?
As Christian parents, we need to acknowledge our influence and impact, and we need to take our God-given responsibilities seriously (even as there comes a time when our children need to make their own decisions). At the top of these responsibilities is the honor and blessing we get to raise our children to know the Lord. Whatever we do regarding sports needs to put this responsibility front and center.
“At the top of these responsibilities is the honor and blessing we get to raise our children to know the Lord.”
Now, let me switch to talking to church leaders who see families miss church because of sports. Here are some questions you might want to think through as you confront this frustration in your church:
- Are you approachable enough that those whom you’re discipling feel welcome to bring up this sports-church dilemma with you?
- When you encourage families to prioritize church over sports, does your tone strike a balance between grace and truth?
- If you have families that are away from church because of sports, would you be willing to encourage and equip them with family discipleship ideas so that their weekend isn’t a vacation from being the church?
- Would you feel defensive if a family worships somewhere else for a season, for example, if that church offers a worship time that accommodates their travel schedule? If so, would that defensiveness be coming from a healthy mindset?
- Often, there simply aren’t enough locations (e.g., soccer fields) to accommodate all of the sport leagues and teams in a given community. Does your local congregation own land or fields that could be used to alleviate some of the scheduling stress? This might be your opportunity to influence and impact your community and local sports leagues. Just an idea.
Finally, to both Christian parents and church leaders, I’d like to encourage all of us not to avoid this elephant in the room, but rather to humble ourselves and talk about and pray about these things together so that we as one body of Christ can begin to arrive at God-honoring, reasonable solutions.
