Editor’s Note: We live in an era of confusion and hurt when it comes to the question of what it means to be a real man. Should we see manhood as a fluid social construct? Should we define it according to societal ideals such as power and machismo? Should we see traditional masculinity as toxic? Does the Bible give guys guidance on these questions beyond just being nice and going to church regularly? In this 2-part series, Mike Ackerman, professor of New Testament and church planting at Ozark Christian College, delves into what the Bible teaches about manhood, showing its answers to be both nuanced and deeply helpful. These articles are adapted from a sermon Mike preached on the topic at Ozark Christian College.
When God created humankind to be his image bearers, he decided to create them male and female. In his wisdom, he felt that the best way to represent himself in the world was for there to be two genders. If God says that what he made is good, then we should celebrate what he made as good. In Genesis 1:31 after he made everything, he looked at it and said “very good,” and so it’s good for us to do this. In this particular sermon, I’ve been asked to talk about biblical manhood.
Let’s just acknowledge this is a difficult topic. This is challenging for a variety of reasons.
Why Biblical Manhood Is a Challenging Topic
Here’s one reason this topic is challenging: It can be easy to say that there are differences between men and women and then feel like those differences are an evaluation that something is good and something is bad. It’s the idea that male is good and female is bad. Or that female is good, male is bad. But that’s not what the Bible teaches at all.
But we do know there are differences, right? Anyone who’s worked with kids knows there’s a difference between males and females just innately. I’ve got three sons and no daughters. We even have two dogs that are both males, so our home is just a vibe, an atmosphere of maleness. So, our home, it’s male. There’s hardly a pink thing in there, except my wife. She has some stuff in her little spots. There’s not a doll lying around. We never forbade dolls. We never said you can’t buy things that are pink. They just never picked to get those kinds of things.
“We do know there are differences, right?”
I remember coming home one day after we had just recently moved into our current home. It was a new construction, so the back area wasn’t even done yet. There was still some concrete for the patio to do, and the yard was just dirt and rocks, and scrap metal from the construction. When I came home that day, I didn’t see anybody in the house, so I went out back where my middle son and some of his friends were in the middle of a boxing match (because we don’t have dolls but we’ve got boxing gloves). And my youngest son had found a board that the construction process had left behind, and he was over there throwing knives at it. Maybe if we had three girls instead of three boys, they would be doing the same thing, but I just think that probably wouldn’t happen. There are differences, and yet we need to remember that those differences don’t need to be competitive.
A second reason this topic is also challenging is that we often come in with a lot of stereotypes in our heads. We think about manhood, and it means beards and trucks and hunting and fighting, right? I remember seeing a clip last week of Theo Von telling a guy how to be a guy, saying, “Sometimes you gotta just spit on the ground sometimes. It’s just what guys do.” But if we’re going to talk about biblical manhood, we’ve got to sweep away stereotypes because some of these things don’t fit in different cultural contexts.
Living in Japan for five years, guys can’t grow great beards there. If it’s all about beards, how are we going to disciple a man to be a great man of God there? If it’s spitting on the ground, in Singapore, it’s illegal to spit, so are we asking every man to break the law? No, we have to sweep away unhelpful stereotypes.
“If we’re going to talk about biblical manhood, we’ve got to sweep away stereotypes because some of these things don’t fit in different cultural contexts.”
A third challenge with this topic: I think we also have got to acknowledge that this is a difficult topic because many of us come in with some insecurities. There are probably some of you guys that come in here and you feel a little anxiousness about this topic because what if you find out that biblical manhood means this or that thing and you feel like you’ll never measure up to it?
I understand that feeling. Growing up without a dad in the house, I often felt confused about what it would mean for me to be a man. I remember hearing statements like, “Every man should be able to [fill-in-the-blank], and it was usually going to be something I didn’t know how to do. “Every man should be able to change the oil in their car.” “Every man should be able to start a fire without matches or a lighter.” And I’m thinking, I didn’t do those things, so I’ve got to go get into boy scouts just so I can be a man? I had trouble understanding what it meant for me, Mike, to be a man.
A fourth challenge: This is a tough subject because we often come in here with wounds from distorted versions of masculinity that we’ve experienced. If the stats are true that over 90% of violent crime is committed by males and the stats are true about violence and abuse, then we know somebody in this room has experienced great harm from men. Even in the little window of time I had a stepdad in my life, I saw a lot of the negative stereotypes of masculinity play out. He had a lot of anger and a lot of violence in his past.
“This is a tough subject because we often come in here with wounds from distorted versions of masculinity that we’ve experienced.”
And so, let’s acknowledge that this topic by its very nature is sensitive for a lot of us in the room. In light of that I want to stop again real quick and pray, and just ask that God would help us explore biblical manhood.
God, give peace to our hearts and minds as we try to explore what it really means for us to be men of God. For all the ladies in the room, I pray that this is a chance to envision the goodness of what God has in mind with manhood and womanhood. And help me be a faithful messenger today. I pray all this in Jesus’ name, amen.
What I want to do is just highlight three features of biblical manhood as best as I can see it. And these features will actually be pairs, so it’s basically six points I can squeeze into three. I want to retrace what Adam showed us in the failure of the first man, and then trace what Jesus showed us in the example of the ultimate man.
The Backstory
Genesis 1 tells us God made the humans male and female in his image. Genesis 2 gives us more detail and says that God made man and placed him in the garden to work. And once he was there, he was told not to eat from that one tree. God saw that Adam was alone and needed a helper, and so he created woman. And the two became one, and the first family was made.
In Genesis 3, we are introduced to our adversary. The serpent, craftier than any of the other creatures, approaches the woman, Eve, and says, “Is it true you can’t eat from any of these trees?” And she answers, “Oh we can eat from all but one, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If we touch that, we will die.” He responds that she surely won’t die. God knows that that would be good for her and he’s holding out on her. He promises that if she were to eat from that tree, she would be like God, being able to tell good from evil. Eve sees that the fruit was pleasing to the eyes and good for food and could bring wisdom, and so she takes it and eats and gives some to her husband who is there with her, and he eats it.
Immediately, their eyes are opened, and they experience the shame of their nakedness. They run and hide until God comes and says, “Adam where are you?”
He responds, “I was afraid because I was naked.” Meanwhile, Adam is standing there in the bushes covering himself with some leaves.
“Meanwhile, Adam is standing there in the bushes covering himself with some leaves.”
God says, “Who told you you were naked?”
“Well, I ate from that tree and I realized it.”
“Why’d you eat from that tree?”
“Well, the woman you made gave it to me and I ate it.”
Then God goes to the woman and asks her, and she says “The snake told me; he deceived me.” Then God goes back in reverse order to the serpent, to the woman, and then to the man, explaining the results of him failing to be the man God made him to be. And now death has entered the world.
Provide & Protect
The first feature of biblical manhood that comes to my mind from this text is that men are to provide and protect. Now I don’t want to condescend Eve and say that she didn’t bear some responsibility in this situation, but Romans 5 and 1 Corinthians 15 make it clear that Adam was responsible for sin and death in the world. She was deceived, but he was responsible. He failed to step in and protect her in this time of vulnerability.
It’s always been noteworthy to me that back in Genesis 2 when the instruction is given—do not eat from that tree—the woman wasn’t even formed yet. Adam was the steward of God’s instruction for his family. He was the one who was supposed to pass that truth on. Apparently, he had passed it on, but he wasn’t championing that truth to the point that Eve was resilient to this temptation. More than that, the text makes it clear that he’s standing there doing nothing.
When we talk about manhood, I think it can be helpful to make the contrast not so much between masculinity and femininity but between manhood and boyhood. Manliness and boyishness. And here, Adam gives in to the boyish tendency to be passive. The tendency to say, “I’m just going to let this play out. I’m just going to observe and let what happens happens.”
How come he didn’t jump in? How come there’s no moment in the text where it’s like, “Hey, excuse me, Mr. Snake. You are talking to my wife here. Can I help you?” It says he just stands there and watches as the destiny of humanity begins to unfold in its destruction. He just idly watches like a little boy.
“Adam just idly watches like a little boy.”
When Jesus was tempted, he also was tempted to eat something that apparently he wasn’t supposed to eat. The serpent came to him and said, “If you want, you could turn this stone into bread.” And he said, “Man doesn’t live on bread alone but every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Jesus understood that the truth of God’s word is more important than our cravings. And he resisted that temptation to make bread in that moment
At a later time, Jesus will make bread, but it won’t be for himself but for others. All four Gospels record the “feeding of the 5,000.” And it’s interesting how Mark’s Gospel says that when they landed on the shore, Jesus saw a large crowd and had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd (Mark 6:34). It mattered to him to provide and protect them. He had them sit down in groups and fed them miraculously to nourish them because he cared about their wellbeing. He said, “I’m going to make their needs my business.” I think that’s a manly trait.
It’s saying, “I am going to look out for the vulnerable. I’m going to look out for those that have needs that I can help meet.” It’s not that women and children aren’t able to do that at some level, but that there is something core to the task of man to work the garden and to take care of his wife. And Jesus shows us that a godly man sees the needs and responds. He cares. He’s compassionate.
“Jesus shows us that a godly man sees the needs and responds.”
In 1 Peter 3:7, Peter tells husbands that they should be considerate as they live with their wives as the weaker partner. It’s always a little bit of a strange verse. But it’s acknowledging that the average man is stronger than the average woman. What you do with that strength is what makes the difference. Peter says that actually you should be considerate and respectful to them because they are heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, “so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
That last part has always been striking to me. You had better be respectful to her because if you’re not, something might hinder your prayers. It’s as if God is saying there is a chain of command here, but recognize who your boss is. And if you don’t take care of your wife, God notices that.
So, if I am going to be a godly man, it begins with acknowledging I need to first and foremost be a safe person. I need to be a person that being around me brings good not bad. I remember when my sons were starting out in school and we started going to parent-teacher conferences. Because we had no sisters around and no female cousins yet and just maybe a couple girls in the neighborhood, I would always ask the teacher about the interactions our sons had with girls. One of my questions was, “Are they nice to girls?” And I could tell that the teachers thought that was a strange question. But I’m like, “They are hardly ever around girls. It’s fine if they’re awkward or nervous—but are they nice to girls?” And so far, they’ve always told me yes. They are nice to girls.
“What you do with that strength is what makes the difference.”
And being nice to girls is a manly trait. And obviously that’s a silly way to put it. But as a man, is there something in you that says, “I am drawn to help those who need help. I’m not going to passively hope somebody else takes care of that. I’m going to pursue that need?”
Maybe it’s even just another guy, a younger guy to whom you can say, “Here let me help you learn what I’ve learned. I don’t have it all together, but whatever I have I want to pass on to you.” A man says, “I am on a mission to help those who have needs.”
I want to be careful with this, but, realistically, let’s be honest: a lot of people are here looking for that significant other. Yes, you’re fine how you are you, and you can be single your whole life and live a fulfilled life (so did Jesus). But, girls, if you do want to date and marry a guy, expect that he is a provider and protector. Expect that he works hard.
“I’m not going to passively hope somebody else takes care of that.”
It’s a little bit of an open secret among professors here that often in a relationship the girl is the better student than the guy. It’s just obvious often that the girl is the one who is more on-task, more disciplined. Girls, expect your guy to do his homework. Expect him to be on time to things. Expect him to take up responsibility and not just want to spend all his time playing video games and having fun. Expect him to be a hard worker who presses into the difficulty and does not run away from it.
I overheard a conversation recently of some girls asking some guys how they would feel about a girl asking them out instead of them asking the girl out. And the guys were like, “Yeah, I think I’d like that.” I don’t like that. I mean, if a guy is scared to ask you out, can you really trust him to fight a bear or something when the time comes?
I think it is a godly thing to be a protector and a provider. That doesn’t mean we’re violent. It doesn’t mean we’re aggressive. But it means there is a strength that God has given us to steward, and Jesus stewarded his strength by helping others who needed help—welcoming and blessing the little children, feeding the hungry, healing those who couldn’t see or walk. Real men provide and protect.
