In the United States in the 1920s and 30s, life was very difficult for racially mixed children. This was especially true for a particular child, “Joseph,” born in 1928 to a Native American father and an Irish mother. At that time, both were considered the dredges of society, and to have children who were the product of mixing the races was unacceptable. Joseph was a descendant of a Sioux chief, and his mother was an Irish teacher on the reservation where his family had lived. As an adult, he left the reservation and faced extreme bigotry. He began to absorb the identity he was given of being detestable, which filled him with shame and led to a life of violence and drinking. His self-loathing identity from an early age was defined by the view others had of him.
“John” is a college student at a Christian university, raised in a loving Christian family. He also has a pornography addiction that started early in his teens and causes great shame and anxiety. In his late teens, he was lured into a same-sex relationship, and since learning that it was unbiblical, he has carried severe shame from that relationship as well as his porn addiction. He sees himself through the lies of enemies, defined by feelings of worthlessness and shame. This has led to depression and an overwhelming sense of guilt and hopelessness.
Although a sense of shame can lead us to recognize our need for God, when that shame drives us to hide from him, it becomes a tool wielded by our enemy to isolate us and keep us alone and vulnerable.
“Shame becomes a tool wielded by our enemy to isolate us and keep us alone and vulnerable.”
When shame drives us from God, we become lost sheep without the protection of a shepherd. Whether we are born as a societal “less-than” or we make choices that are unacceptable in the Christian world, we tend to accumulate and carry around views of ourselves that are not grounded in who God says we are. Instead they are grounded in shame.
An Identity of Dignity
Yet our identity in Christ brings with it dignity. When we come to him as our Savior, Lord, and King, he washes us clean; he removes the stains of the past. He gives us a new identity. Slow down and soak in what the Bible says about your identity in Christ:
So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority. In him you were also circumcised with a circumcision not performed by human hands. Your whole self ruled by the flesh was put off when you were circumcised by Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead. When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. (Colossians 2:6–14, NIV)
Consider the words Paul uses to describe our identity in Christ. Rooted and built up in him. Brought to fullness. Raised with him. Made alive with Christ. Forgiven of all our sins.
“Rooted and built up in him. Brought to fullness. Raised with him. Made alive with Christ. Forgiven of all our sins.”
Unfortunately, what too often happens is we don’t allow Jesus to renovate our heart according to our new identity in him. We accept him as Lord yet don’t live in the freedom that comes from full surrender to him and his ways. We continue to carry around the shame that comes from the world’s opinions of us and the enemy’s victories over us instead of heeding the convictions that come from the Holy Spirit. We isolate ourselves from those in our lives who want our good, and we hide from God. We actively resist the beauty of accepting his grace and redefining ourselves as he sees us—holy and righteous. Yes, even while accepting our new identity, we will still relapse into sin from time to time, but with confession and repentance, that sin is forgiven and no longer held against us. We are deeply changed, and shame no longer has a vote in defining our identity.
What Puts Shame to Flight
Jesus brings dignity to the broken when we encounter him. Recall how Saul encountered Jesus and was radically changed. Jesus knew the damage Saul was inflicting, and he still went after him, not only to stop the persecution but also to bring Saul to a restored relationship with God through Jesus. Saul was transformed by experiencing Christ’s deep, unexpected love for him.
Let us remember that we are in relationship with Jesus, Lord and Savior, but also with Jesus, deliverer and comforter. Jesus sees the hurt you have endured and the pain you have inflicted, and he still wants to be in relationship with you. He yearns for you. He has stood in your place in front of God to take your sins so that you are holy and righteous when you stand in front of God, not guilty. That is the power of redemption. Our part is to confess and accept God’s grace and live our lives in this new identity in a way that honors and glorifies him. Yet when we continue to ground ourselves in shame, we are only accepting the gift of grace in theory. The real gift is of an unhurried, transformative, personal relationship with Jesus.
