Disagreements in the Church and the Balance of Grace and Truth
- Discern the difference between essential beliefs, important issues, and personal convictions before responding to conflict.
- Follow Jesus’ example of bringing both grace and truth so truth isn’t harsh and grace isn’t flimsy.
- Guard against turning personal preferences into stumbling blocks that harm unity and push others away from Jesus.
Here, we talk about how should we treat those who disagree with us, particularly in the personal elements of our faith and our personal convictions. How should we respond and treat others? What I want to start with is, again, to discern the difference between an essential, an important, and a personal element of faith.
So perhaps I meet someone or I’m talking to someone who doesn’t believe that Jesus rose from the dead—well, I should regard that person as not being a believer, as not being a Christian. And so it’s my obligation in that moment, or it’s my desire in that moment, to convince them of the saving truth of who Jesus is and what Jesus has done for us.
If it’s a disagreement in an important element of our faith, then I think of the example of Apollos and Priscilla and Aquila in the book of Acts. In that moment, it’s my responsibility or it’s my opportunity to teach and/or perhaps to be taught the truth more accurately. Maybe I need to adjust my understanding or help other people to adjust their understanding so that we all can arrive at a more faithful understanding of this important topic.
On an element of personal preference, though, how should we deal with those who disagree with us on an element of personal preference or personal conviction? I like to start with what we read about Jesus in John 1:14.
“How should we deal with those who disagree with us on an element of personal preference or personal conviction?”
John 1:14 says that God made his dwelling among us. The Word took on flesh and made his dwelling among us. It also goes on in the last part of that verse to say that Jesus went into the world overflowing with, or full of, grace and truth. 
I’ve always thought, as I’ve read that verse, that the way that Jesus went into the world should also be the way that his followers go into the world. So if Jesus went into the world overflowing with both grace and truth, we also, as his followers, go into the world in our relationships, in our conversations, in our churches, in our places of work, and in our schools. We go into the world also overflowing with both grace and truth.
Now, we know that that’s a hard tension. That’s a hard balance to strike: grace and truth. Some people are heavy on the grace side of that equation, and so they’re very forgiving, they’re very accommodating, but they may have trouble with the truth side of the equation. And so their grace becomes sort of removed from that foundational truth of who God is and what he has done. In the process, grace becomes flimsy and ineffectual because it’s become removed from truth.
But then you have other people who gravitate toward the truth side of the equation. They hammer people with truth, but they do so to such an extent that they leave grace behind. And so their truth becomes harsh, their truth becomes weaponized, and their truth can perhaps become unloving in the process.
“They hammer people with truth, but they do so to such an extent that they leave grace behind.”
So part of what we need to do is develop this balance of both grace and truth in the way that we live our lives and certainly in the way that we conduct our relationships.
When people disagree with us, or when we disagree with other people, especially in these personal elements of faith, we should go into that disagreement full of both grace and truth. We want to find the truth, but we also want to show and demonstrate grace and forgiveness and love for one another. And I think we also need to remember the words of Paul in Romans and 1 Corinthians. He talks about the same type of idea: that we should be very mindful not to put stumbling blocks in front of our brothers and sisters in regard to these personal elements of our faith.
What we tend to do is take a personal conviction and turn that personal conviction that we have, or perhaps that our group has, into literally an obstacle or a stumbling block, keeping someone away from the faith. So this isn’t an essential element of faith. This isn’t, “Do you believe that Jesus is Lord?” or “Do you believe that Jesus is risen from the dead?”
This is just a personal element of our belief, and we make that almost an essential to belief. We put it in front of someone as an obstacle that keeps them far away from Jesus. And so one of the things that we need to really be thinking about is that we need to humble ourselves and love each other enough to recognize when we are turning our personal preferences into a stumbling block.
“We put it in front of someone as an obstacle that keeps them far away from Jesus.”
We may actually be keeping others away from Jesus and hurting them in their discipleship. We may also be hurting the unity that should exist within the body of Christ. So let’s make it our conviction—and let’s be committed—to not turn our personal convictions into stumbling blocks for other brothers and sisters.
