At times, we have even made “perfect family” and “godly nation” into idols which replaced our dependence on God and our pursuit of His kingdom. Thank God that, in His grace, He lets idols crumble so we can place our trust in the God who is left standing.
#2 – The wake-up call to face secularism is getting louder and louder.
Many Christian parents have not properly prepared—and are currently still not preparing—their children for the emerging strength of the secular world. Easy answers for tough issues might “work” for a few years. But in the long run, easy answers leave blanks—about Bible difficulties, LGBTQ issues, the question of other religions—to be filled in later by secular authorities.
As Joshua Harris’s story reminds us, Satan is sly and patient. It’s not difficult to imagine what happens to kids who emerge from an evangelical bubble where they were protected from the real world instead of trained to live in it.
Cindy and I (Bobby) sought to protect our kids to a certain degree. But we thought it was also important to expose our children to the hard issues that true disciples face in this world. We made our share of mistakes, but we are glad, in retrospect, for their struggles and questions. They had to work through many difficulties and hardships for themselves, and they emerged with a stronger faith as a result.
High school, for example, was an almost daily battle ground for them as they sought to follow Jesus. Walking with them through the difficulties, we stuck to daily devotionals, open discussions about hard questions, and an emphasis on youth group and other Christian families. They got through those years and now, in retrospect, we see that we were helping to prepare them for the world that they live in as adults. However we do it, parents must prepare their children to live in the real world.
The world is changing—rapidly—all around us. Too many parents have been sheltering their children more than intentionally discipling them.
#3 – Parents must go back and focus on discipleship.
We can’t rely on the latest trendy Christian resource or cool Christian celebrity to train our kids in the faith.
Moses showed us the best path forward for parents. It is the “great commission” of the Old Testament, before Jesus’ Great Commission in Matthew 28:18-20. It is recorded in Deuteronomy 6:6-9:
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
God envisions that parents will walk in close relationship with their children, intentionally discipling them. Parents—not this generation’s Joshua Harrises or the I Kissed Dating Goodbyes’s—are supposed to take the lead in teaching God’s word to their children. God’s plan is that in the midst of life-on-life relationships, parents teach the commandments of God’s Word to their children, with wisdom and practical insight. There is no substitute for this part of parenting. It is God’s plan “A.” My son Chad and Jason Houser joined with me (Bobby) to write a book for Zondervan that guides parents in these principles called Dedicated: Training Your Children to Trust and Follow Jesus.
A friend of mine (Bobby) recently wrote me the following note about how he is discipling his children through the hard issues of our day.
We have allowed our children to watch certain programs or movies which deal with issues that are a part of the world they live in. They are thankful because we always dialogue about how what we’re watching agrees or disagrees with Scripture. My son has a friend whose parents have been and continue to be very strict about things like this, and now that he’s in High School it seems to be pushing his friend away from his parents and has created a barrier regarding conversations they could be having about real life issues. Many parents focus on unhealthy prescriptions of rose-colored glasses instead of fashioning a pair of sturdy, clear Christian worldview lenses through real-life exposure and discussion. If we don’t do this, it’s likely that the carpet of our young people’s beliefs and convictions will get yanked out from underneath them the first time they sit in a philosophy or ethics class at university. We want our kids to understand what’s out there and discuss how it honors or dishonors God.
We think he is describing an approach to discipleship that must become the norm for Christian parents if we are to prepare our children for the world in which they will live.
#4 – Amongst all that we have to cringe about, here’s something beautiful.
As kids in the youth group, my (Daniel) friends and I were grateful for anything that brought “Christian” and “cool” together. Especially when it came to music, an area in which—I was convinced—my friends and I were amazingly cool. That night, we were going to play an actual concert for the campers, not just worship music. And this was not happy, clappy songs for the 4-6th graders. No, this was a rock concert for the high school week at camp. Being high schoolers ourselves, this was a big deal.
As epic as this was in our minds, the reality was embarrassing. I still remember arriving at the climactic moment of Jars of Clay’s “Crazy Times” (the measure before the guitar solo), when our drummer played a robotic, offbeat fill which ended in his cymbal falling over and crashing to the floor (might have been the only on-beat crash of the night). The electric solo ended up screeching up and down like a cat whose tail got stuck in the door. And though that was the most cringe-worthy moment of the concert for us, if we owned a video of the concert, I’m sure today we would be cringing through the whole thing.
There are lots of reasons for us who grew up in youth church culture to cringe. Tacky gospel tracts? Carman music videos from the 90’s? Cheesy Christian t-shirts? Cringe all you want.
No shortage of cringe-worthy content. Most recent of all, we cringe when we hear Joshua Harris’s sad story. Yet another high profile de-conversion!
But never forget this: However clumsy our earlier years, however checkered our past, Jesus has never left us. Not once.
It’s no small thing that Jesus has stayed faithful to us no less on our worst days than on our best days. Praise God that “If we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself” (2 Timothy 2:13).
And if He has remained faithful to us, then surely we can remain faithful to Him.