*Editor’s Note: A common slogan within LGBTQ+ communities is that “love is love,” implying that any consensual sexual expression is a legitimate form of love. At the same time, love is a longtime cornerstone ethic of Christianity. How does love as taught in Christianity compare with this popular view of love? To help us think through love from a Christian perspective, I caught up with Dr. Chad Ragsdale, a Christian thinker on worldview and culture.
Q. How do we love people well when they believe that love equals affirming their decisions?
So, there’s a common idea that says if you really love a person, you will accept and embrace everything about them. You’ll accept the way they choose to live. You’ll accept the way that they think. On LGBTQ+ issues in particular, you’ll accept their sexual identity and their gender identity. The idea is that to truly love a person means that, without reservation, you accept everything about them.
But is that actually true? Is that love? I’m a parent, and I love my kids unconditionally. I love them absolutely. But that doesn’t mean that I accept and embrace everything they do, everything they say, everything they think. In fact, because I love them so much, I have an obligation to push back on certain beliefs or behaviors that I know will lead to negative consequences. My love actually compels me to not accept and embrace every single thing about them.
And so, on this particular issue, should Christians love people within LGBTQ+ communities? Absolutely! And many people in these communities feel very cut off from the church, very unloved from the church—and cut off from God as a consequence. We absolutely do have an obligation to show love and compassion and respect for people within these communities.
But that love does not obligate us to accept and embrace every single thing about their lives, the decisions they make, the behaviors they engage in, the ways in which they think. Love actually obligates us to tell people the truth.
“Love actually obligates us to tell people the truth.”
Q. How might Christians communicate hard truth, for example, about sexuality or gender, in a loving way?
Whenever I use anything outside of its intended design or purpose, I am inviting brokenness into my life. I’m inviting potential injury into my life.
Imagine a dining room chair. A dining room chair is designed for a specific purpose: to be sat in. Now, imagine that I have in my dining room a light bulb that needs changed. In order to reach the light bulb, I need something I can climb up on to reach and change it. So instead of going and getting a ladder, which requires extra time and effort, I’m just going to use one of my dining room chairs to stand on.
Now, the chair might serve that purpose for a while. The chair might get the job done for a time, but the more time that I use that chair in a way that doesn’t fit its design and purpose, I’m actually inviting potential injury into my life. Because the chair isn’t designed to be a ladder, there’s a chance I’ll fall off and I’ll hurt myself. Or there’s a decent chance that I’m eventually going to break the chair because, again, that’s not what the chair was designed for. Whenever I use anything in my life in a way it wasn’t designed for, I am inviting injury and brokenness into my life.
Now, think about sex. What is God’s designed intention and purpose for sex? If I use sex in a way that is outside of that designed intention and purpose—if I use sex in a way that is outside of God’s intent—then I am inviting brokenness and injury into my life. I will be harmed by using sex in the way that it wasn’t intended, and I will harm others in the process.
“If I use sex in a way that is outside of that designed intention and purpose, then I am inviting brokenness and injury into my life.”
Q. When it comes to controversial issues of sexuality and gender identity, is it best if Christian leaders put them in the category of personal opinion and avoid conflict by not bringing them up?
I’ve had people tell me before that the church should just agree to disagree on these issues. After all, when it comes to sexual identity and gender issues, these issues invite conflict and debate. They introduce a lot of contention. They bring us into conflict with the world and, as the logic goes, they kind of invite an unnecessary distraction into our communities.
Well, I don’t think our communities are ever blessed when we turn a blind eye to sin. Think about wealth, for example. What if we had this same attitude toward our wealth? Well, you know, people get weird when you start to talk about their money. You start to talk about greed, stewardship, and the proper use of the blessings that God has given us financially? People get weird about that. It invites contention. It invites debate. And people get their feelings hurt.
So maybe the church has more important things to do than to talk about what God says about wealth? Maybe we should just agree to disagree? But no, wealth is an important thing for us to talk about because wealth is so easily made into an idol which we fiercely protect. We easily allow the pursuit of wealth, instead of God, to occupy the center of our lives. So, absolutely, we need to talk about issues related to wealth within our church—even if they do invite conflict.
“I don’t think our communities are ever blessed when we turn a blind eye to sin.”
I would say the same thing about sexual issues too. As wealth is so often an idol we set up in our lives, so is sex. People get defensive. People get weird when you start to talk about these things in the church. It invites debate and contention. But I don’t want to turn a blind eye to the idolatry that might exist within our communities.
When there’s idolatry that might exist within my own life, I need to have that challenged. I need to have that rebuked. Paul in 1 Corinthians 6 didn’t shy away from talking about issues of sexuality with the Corinthian Christians. He addressed it head on. He said we are not to engage in sexual immorality. He said our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit; we don’t belong to ourselves. God didn’t give us bodies just to enjoy it for ourselves. Therefore, we need to be diligent about the way we use our sexuality, and we don’t do each other any favors by neglecting what God says about it.
